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Thread: Psychology of single Indian women

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Mumbai
    Posts
    2
    Hi!

    I'm doing my Phd in psychology from a very well reputed university in New Delhi.The project which I have taken up for my thesis is "Psychology of single women in India".Now for a male like me this is an unusual topic for the thesis,but I have accepted this as a challenge.Maybe if the ladies in this forum can help me out in my queries I'll really be very grateful.I know the answers will vary from person to person,but still would like to know.I have the following queries in mind

    1. What goes inside the mind of ladies who are in their mid 30s and are still unmarried ? Here am talking about the ladies who remain unmarried by choice.What do they think generally about life,society,friends etc?

    2. How do single women look upon their married counterparts,their married friends etc.How do they react when they hear experiences of their happily married friends ?

    3. How do their parents and the society look upon them ? What I mean is do they get to hear unusual things etc which make them unhappy at times?

    4.What do they do to keep themselves happy ?

    5. As we all are aware that like hunger sex is an essential part of every human being's life,how do single women cope with it ? Does sex really figure in their minds very often or they do not have these feelings at all.

    Request all you ladies to help me out.Thanks in advance



  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    lucknow
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    2,295
    Women who are unmarried in their thirties by Choice would most likely be doing well in their career and hence don't feel the need to find a soulmate or get married...

    Lot of them would have struggled hard to earn a good position in their career and are not willing to compromise...

    Fear could be another reason... Not knowing whats in store or mainly a lack of committment...

    To assume that they look down upon their married counter parts is wrong.. On the one hand they would be missing having a person at home to rely on/ share/care and on the other they might feel relieved that they need not be ruled by someone's needs/ expectations.. They are so used to making decisions for themselves that they might find it difficult ot rather unusual to see thier married friends always cross checking with their spouses before making decisions..

    Women who highly value their independence/freedom would never be dictated by the norms of the society ,, Mostly it would be dismissive but for parents it might be a little difficult to accept that.. Parents often feel marraige is the key to happiness... And when I say that it means even a relationship with a man needs to be legalized for them to accept it..

    The society especially in Urban areas seem to accept this trend of Single women...But stray comments from time to time along with lewd advances from men normally can disturb them and cause them to evaluate their stand...

    Women should have the right to remain single if they choose to do so...There is no law stating that women have to get married but sadly the society is always looking down upon them....

    Unlike Single men women are more mature about their stand and normally indulge in constructive activities.. to keep them occupied. Many pursue their studies, travel a lot... Join some club or indulge in thier hobbies ....

    Lot of Single women adopt children and that is another way to fill the void for them..

    Regarding their physical urges I am not sure .. I guess for women some kind of emotional attachment is required for them to get into a physical relationship ...


    Cheers

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    uttar pradesh
    Posts
    4
    Hi Folks
    I am a new member, just discovered this site! I am interested in understanding how singles (men and women) live their lives and what do they face socially and culturally. My friend from Germany states that every second person is single! But in India it is still an oddity and life is difficult. I would be happy if members respond to this. I would develop my ideas further on this topic. This is just the begining. Thanks

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Delhi
    Posts
    114
    [quote=tumpy]Hi Folks
    I am a new member, just discovered this site! I am interested in understanding how singles (men and women) live their lives and what do they face socially and culturally. My friend from Germany states that every second person is single! But in India it is still an oddity and life is difficult. I would be happy if members respond to this. I would develop my ideas further on this topic. This is just the begining. Thanks[/quote]
    tumpy............WELCOME TO SUKHDUKH

    NO TUMPY IN INDIA LIFE IS NOT AT ALL DIFFCULT...... WE ARE HAPILY LIVING
    ACTUALLY WHAT IS PROJECTED OUTSIDE INDIA ...ON ..ELECTRONIC MEDIA IS MOSTLY THE HALF INFORMATION OR MISINTERPRETED ONE..

    WELL THERE ARE ISSUES OF POVERTY ...... I AGREE.......BUT ITS EVERY WHERE EVEN IN DEVELOPED COUNTRIES....

    I HOPE U GOT MY IDEA

    BY THE WAY YOU ARE NOT INDIAN.....OR YOU LIVE OUTSIDE

    REGARDS
    SHUBHADEEP CHATTOPADHYAY

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    uttar pradesh
    Posts
    4
    Hi SC
    Of course I live in India and am fully Indian. Poverty is not an issue for me at least. But being single is an issue I feel in India. Singles are looked at differently and more stringently by society. Their actions are put under the microscope and judged minutely! How do you feel about that?
    Regards
    Tumpy

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    uttar pradesh
    Posts
    4
    Dear RADA 77
    I liked what you wrote on singles. But I am not sure if anyone on this earth is single by choice?? There has to be some untoward experience that keeps them single. Think about it and let me know.
    Tumpy

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    uttar pradesh
    Posts
    4
    [quote=rada77]Women who are unmarried in their thirties by Choice would most likely be doing well in their career and hence don't feel the need to find a soulmate or get married...

    Lot of them would have struggled hard to earn a good position in their career and are not willing to compromise...

    Fear could be another reason... Not knowing whats in store or mainly a lack of committment...

    To assume that they look down upon their married counter parts is wrong.. On the one hand they would be missing having a person at home to rely on/ share/care and on the other they might feel relieved that they need not be ruled by someone's needs/ expectations.. They are so used to making decisions for themselves that they might find it difficult ot rather unusual to see thier married friends always cross checking with their spouses before making decisions..

    Women who highly value their independence/freedom would never be dictated by the norms of the society ,, Mostly it would be dismissive but for parents it might be a little difficult to accept that.. Parents often feel marraige is the key to happiness... And when I say that it means even a relationship with a man needs to be legalized for them to accept it..

    The society especially in Urban areas seem to accept this trend of Single women...But stray comments from time to time along with lewd advances from men normally can disturb them and cause them to evaluate their stand...

    Women should have the right to remain single if they choose to do so...There is no law stating that women have to get married but sadly the society is always looking down upon them....

    Unlike Single men women are more mature about their stand and normally indulge in constructive activities.. to keep them occupied. Many pursue their studies, travel a lot... Join some club or indulge in thier hobbies ....

    Lot of Single women adopt children and that is another way to fill the void for them..

    Regarding their physical urges I am not sure .. I guess for women some kind of emotional attachment is required for them to get into a physical relationship ...


    Cheers[/quote]
    Dear Ash
    I like the topic you have chosen for your Ph.D. If you have a questionnaire to be filled up by single women please me one for then i would participate in your study. Loose ended questions as you have asked them would not make a good scientific study.
    Tumpy

  8. #8

    Smile Mujeeb

    i have writen my openion below this


    Lot of them would have struggled hard to earn a good position in their career and are not willing to compromise...

    Fear could be another reason... Not knowing whats in store or mainly a lack of committment...

    To assume that they look down upon their married counter parts is wrong.. On the one hand they would be missing having a person at home to rely on/ share/care and on the other they might feel relieved that they need not be ruled by someone's needs/ expectations.. They are so used to making decisions for themselves that they might find it difficult ot rather unusual to see thier married friends always cross checking with their spouses before making decisions..

    Women who highly value their independence/freedom would never be dictated by the norms of the society ,, Mostly it would be dismissive but for parents it might be a little difficult to accept that.. Parents often feel marraige is the key to happiness... And when I say that it means even a relationship with a man needs to be legalized for them to accept it..

    The society especially in Urban areas seem to accept this trend of Single women...But stray comments from time to time along with lewd advances from men normally can disturb them and cause them to evaluate their stand...

    Women should have the right to remain single if they choose to do so...There is no law stating that women have to get married but sadly the society is always looking down upon them....

    Unlike Single men women are more mature about their stand and normally indulge in constructive activities.. to keep them occupied. Many pursue their studies, travel a lot... Join some club or indulge in thier hobbies ....

    Lot of Single women adopt children and that is another way to fill the void for them..

    Regarding their physical urges I am not sure .. I guess for women some kind of emotional attachment is required for them to get into a physical relationship ...


    Cheers[/QUOTE]


    hi rada my name is mujeeb am 23 year old male, i think ur suggestion is right,am an open hearted positive person
    i want to know the answers for the qstns about girls, from ur openion i realised tha the girls in single state doesnot need any partner until they are compeled by theirparents.
    from my childhood i respect women to a great extent and am also hate doury. basicaly i dont know anything about girls and i dont have any relatoin with girls even a friendship and i dosen't look to any girls and i respect them. by human nature i also need a partner to share my things to love to be loved ect,some girls are coming to me and they show an intrest to chat with me and try to care me even i dont like that they do that. they try to make me in love with them and finally they cheets me and they gets away from me as like they dont know me.why they are doing this to me i dont said them to come to me and love.physicaly am slim
    Last edited by mujeeb123; 07-23-2012 at 12:15 PM.

  9. #9
    Hi ash!!!
    I liked your topic very much.. And I am sure you will get more marks in your project..

    I wud like to share few information that will help you in scoring some more marks...

    First of all No woman remain single of their choice... Every woman has dream about her future life partner from the age of 13 or 14...
    And each and every girl have at least one crush during their college times or in Jobs or wherever..
    Most of the girls are of shy types or reserved.. And hence no one can understand her feelings..

    Some or the other situation in their life made them to take the decision of remaining single..

    The worst one among all the reasons for a girl to remain single is ASTROLOGY...
    Yes.. This may make you laugh but it is the fact..
    Most of the parents want perfect matching horoscope for their daughter.. They goes in search of good matching horoscope of bridegroom.. But few lucky girls get their matching horoscope.. Many unlucky girls remain single even after 30-35 years of age because of horoscope.. Then they get used to their singular life.. Their dreams are broken.. Now they themselves takes the decision of remaining single in the rest of their life...

    Next reason is Financial condition of Bridegroom..
    Here not even the parents but the girls themselves are involved..
    Both parents and girls want rich bridegroom.. Even if the horoscope gets matched and the bridegroom is not earning good amount of salary then he is rejected.. Like this, they reject many bridegrooms.. Who is in trouble now? Brides!!!! They don't get married even after their 30-35 years of age..

    The Next reason is Girls themselves...
    Now a days girls are much educated and they earn so much even at the very young age.. They have the rights to choose their future husband.. But what happens is.. Girls earns handsome amount of salary and they expect guyz who earns more than them.. Such guyz are at most about 20-30% in India..Once if they guy start to earn good amount of salary they immediately jump to abroad countries.. Some of the guyz does Love marriage.. Only the rest are available for such girls who demands more salary than her.. And the girls with such demands are around 50-60% in India.. So marriage becomes difficult and girls remain single throughout their life...

    These much reasons I have seen in these many days..

    Think about these matters.. Is it happening in India or NOT?

    Who is responsible for the girls to remain single even after 30 years of age??

  10. #10
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    hyd
    Posts
    33

    good thread

    couple more reasons for being single by choice.

    - may be she would have observed lot of problems in marriage / divorces at her surroundings that will force her make decision of remaining single.

    -if her heart was broken by someone that she no longer interested in a guy/ relation.

    -influence of western culture. they adopt western culture in wrong way and prefer to live single for ever.

    -financially independent

  11. #11
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    161
    Hi friends,

    If youíre single, you wonít get chance to sacrifice your career for your family. We can achieve all our career-related dreams. Above all, always free of all commitments and can live a peaceful life without having any fear for anyone.



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