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Thread: father has an extra maital affair

  1. #1
    I am 20 yr old. My childhood was not a happy one. My dad have been involved in two extra marital affairs in the past. One was about 3 or 4 yrs of his marriage and the other one was around 5 or 6 yrs back. I know very less about the first one as my mom never talked about it with me. About the second one I came to know by seeing some pictures of my dad with that lady. I was about 15 yrs old at that time. One can understand the trauma i have faced because of it. Seeing the pics in my dad's cellphone was a shock to me. But i didnt say anything to him. But blank calls started coming at our home and one thing led to other and one day I showed those pics to him( I had recorded the pics in video cam). He didnt say anything back. I could see the shock on his face. But after that we didnt talk about the matter neither at home nor with my mom. I showed the pics to my mom as well. I think she knew about the two because she was not much shocked. She knew there was something between my dad and that woman. That woman used to work in my dad's office. Things became fine after a while. At that time I was a growing kid and thought of running from home too as i felt disgusted but I never did anything stupid. After that life moved on. Till now I dont know my mom's stand on this. I am confident that mom knows everything about my dad past's affairs. I dont knw whether he has stopped seeing that woman or not.
    My father is not a great dad but he is not bad too. He has provided all the things to me and my siblings. He has nurtured us. But i hate him when i think about this aspect of my dad. I know that my mom is extremely hurt. Nowadays a small dispute changes in a big fight in my mom and my dad. And whenver this happens all the burried past comes back to the time. My mom knows that we(me and my siblings) know about it and now she is a bit open about it. I know she is suffering a lot. I dont remember when was the last time i had seen love between my mom and dad. I am not able to undeerstand why mom has tolerated so much. Why she didnt seek divorce before. I have seen them fighting and my mom giving threat of suicide to dad. I have seen my dad giving back the threat a well. I understand that in rage ithappens sometimes. But no matter how strong I am, these things do affect me. I try to ignore these but they keep coming back to me.
    I dont understand why mom doesnt seek divorce on my dad's infedility gorunds? She didnt do so in the past as she was worried about her chidren. My younger brother is only 15. I think mom is quite because of him but theres a limit of everything. I really want to be with both of them but cannot see mom suffering more.........I dont have faith in my dad. I think his other relationship still exists.
    I am miserable. If someone can give me a way to mend things again........



  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Miserable... First of all U are a guy or a girl??? Baaton se to laga ki U are definitely a guy kyonki koi bhi ladki apne father ke saamne itne saboot leke itne confidently jaa nahi sakti....

    Khair jo bhi hai.. U are really a very strong person & I appritiate ur strength...
    But yahan iss matter me solution hum chah ke bhi nahi de sakte... Jab tak aap humari help na karo...

    Aap apni Maa se baaton baaton me ye pata karo ki aisa reason kya hai ki aapke father ne happily married life ke bajaye EMA chuna....
    May be possible un dono ke beech kimental aur physical compatibility sahi na ho...

    But definitely aapki Mom ko bahot suffer karna pad raha hai aur mai to aisi situation ke baare me soch ke bhi darti hoon.... To unka kya haal hota hoga I can not even imagine...

    Baki ye bhi aapko apni MOM se confirm karna hoga ki wo aapke Father ke saath rehna chahti hain aage ya sirf aap dono ki padhai aur future ke dar se reh rahi hain...

    And then the next concern of mine is what are U doing right now???
    If U are going to be self Dependent in a yr or two then U can wait for the right time and tell ur mother that U will take care of ur brother's studies & all and so ask ur mother to file a divorce case on ur father....


    Hope to see Ur reply soon...

  3. #3
    Senior Member
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    Hi,

    Yaar no need to worry and haan mai tumse badi hoon....

    About ur query.. Tum ho sake to itne din wait kiya hai bas kuch din apni padhai khatam hone tak ka wait aur karo & don't let ur father know that somehting is cooking up in ur mind otherwise he can think of some other trick to prove himself not-guilty...

    I can understand what u are going thru as hum jisko bachpan se jisko bilkul sahi mante aaye ho uske baare me iss tarah ki baatein sochne se bhi dil tootta hai... to fir jab use aisa karte hue dekhne se to kya guzarti hai only the person who is suffering can understand...


    Ab baat aati hai about ur Mom & compensation.... U can file a case of Divorce on the basis of adultry & ur mom is not working so Mom & chote bhai ke monthly & study expense ke liye u can file the case too... Right now if u are going then u will also get the compensation but agar tum work karne lag jaogi to tumhe shayad na mile...

    But then Ur problem is solved... about ur Mom & Bro's studies..

    Now coming to Indian law... its very inclined towards a female side... So U will not find any difficulty in any of the things...
    U just need to go to a good lawyer....

    But leaving house & ur Mom & bro is never a solution as they need u and u need them at this point of time...

    Hope U will be strong & will full in whatever u do... And if any kind of help or problem just ask us & we are here to help U...

    Ho sake to apna Email Id dena... If anything I can help U I will mail u on ur personal Id....

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    Miserable,

    I have sent u an invite so Plz delete this post with ur id coz it may be misused....



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