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Thread: Extra Marital Affairs..

  1. #1

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    Guyz..

    Kai dino se ye sawal mere demag aur dil ko bahut pareshan karta aya hai...socha kyu na yaha sab se pochu..jaha shayad mujhe kuch honest answers bhi mil jae...

    ye sawal specl boys se hai...grls can also answer..

    mera sawal waise itna compliated ya naya nai hai but mujhe kuch ajeeb jaroor lagta hai..

    mujhe samjh ye nai ata ki log shadi ke baad bhi extra affairs kyu karte hai..i knw sirf physical hone ke liye..maza lene ke liye n all that..
    but jo log jinke love marrge ho ya nai nai shadi hue ho wo sab bhi ismeintrested hote hai...
    grls bhi hote hai but boys ke comptive kum...

    jab un ladko se pocho ke kya tum apne wifes se satisfied nai ho ya khush nai ho to wo yahi kehte hai ki nai they love her..but
    agar such mae pyar hai to fir dhoka kyu...???

    kya koi mujhe ye explain karega..

    mere samne to mujhe sare aise hi dikhte hai..even in my office..wo young ho ya 40 saal ka buddha...

    uff..



  2. #2
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    Apni shadi se pahle hhi ita dar rahi ho.........................:lol:

  3. #3
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    8-|

  4. #4

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    be sereous saurabh...darne ke sath sath mujhe ye samajh nai ata ki log aisa kyu karte hai..

  5. #5
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    Priya - Log aisa kyu karte hai, ye ek aisa sawal hai jiska entirety me jawab aaj tak nahi mila...kisi ka koi reason hota hai, kisi ka koi aur..

    why u r worried ???? everything will be fine yar. Just be optimistic and give everything to this relationship like you have done in the past.... All will be well... ;-) (y)

  6. #6

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    arre nai baba ye mae apne liye nai poch rahi..uff fir ye unaswrd hi reh gya... :-S

  7. #7
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    Hi Priya,

    How can Saurabh answer this question . He himself is 23 and Punjabi aunty is married and 41 Years. So this happens dear.

    Sanjay


    > priya87 wrote:

    > arre nai baba ye mae apne liye nai poch rahi..uff fir ye unaswrd hi reh gya... :-S

  8. #8
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    Sanjay - :lol:

    Priya - if you are not asking this for urself, let me be clear. Why u r taking pain for whole world. Why you are bothered about the deeds people doing. They are not concerned with you, neither you should be concerned with them. Their idea of morality is very different from what you have. They may be far more practical, and aware about their needs. They are very sure of what they want and also know that how to achieve that. marriage notwithstanding, they feel like completing the deficiencies of their marital life by having such affairs....

    May god bless you. 8-|

  9. #9

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    @priya: if you see the animal species in general, there are very very few that show monogamist behavior. we humans are no different. scientists and behavioral psychologists have now started to support this idea by conducting studies. some have even come under fire from conservative groups for suggesting that an extra-marital relationship can even better a marriage, since if the needs that are not met within the marriage are got from somewhere else, then the person feels more content and that decreases the resentment and increases the contribution within the marriage.

    even if we talk from a social angle, and not just animal-instinct point-of-view, the above thing stands true. no one person can meet the needs that today's marriage imposes on the life partner. in older days the demands from a partner (male or female) were much less and it was more about survival than anything else. hence the concept of monogamy worked better. call it progress!!

    i'll try and find a link to one of those studies if i can.

  10. #10

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    hiiiiii priya

    log extra marital affairs karte he uske kai sare reasons hote he,aur woh reasons kaise create hote he wo important he jaise ke lack of trust between spouses,unhappy marriages,incompatibility between the spouses,insecure family atmosphere,abusive marriages, for fun and enjoyment,log financially weak hote he wo paise ke liye bhi extra marritial affair karte he,unsatisfied sex life hoti he to bhi log extra maritial affair karte he especially sex,businees objectives fulfil karne ke liye bhi log extra maritial affair karte he,attraction and attatchment se bhi extra maritial affair hota he especially in work places and social settings.

    waise agar tumhe find out karna he ke guy or girl who is married having extra affair or not to tum mujhe kehna me tumhe wo bhi bata doogi,waise mera aur mere husband ka koi extra maritial affair nahi he :-D

  11. #11

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    > priya87 wrote:

    > Guyz..

    Kai dino se ye sawal mere demag aur dil ko bahut pareshan karta aya hai...socha kyu na yaha sab se pochu..jaha shayad mujhe kuch honest answers bhi mil jae...

    ye sawal specl boys se hai...grls can also answer..

    mera sawal waise itna compliated ya naya nai hai but mujhe kuch ajeeb jaroor lagta hai..

    mujhe samjh ye nai ata ki log shadi ke baad bhi extra affairs kyu karte hai..i knw sirf physical hone ke liye..maza lene ke liye n all that..
    but jo log jinke love marrge ho ya nai nai shadi hue ho wo sab bhi ismeintrested hote hai...
    grls bhi hote hai but boys ke comptive kum...

    jab un ladko se pocho ke kya tum apne wifes se satisfied nai ho ya khush nai ho to wo yahi kehte hai ki nai they love her..but
    agar such mae pyar hai to fir dhoka kyu...???

    kya koi mujhe ye explain karega..

    mere samne to mujhe sare aise hi dikhte hai..even in my office..wo young ho ya 40 saal ka buddha...

    uff..


    all man need is good food and good sex then he is all your.if you are good in this your would be wont cheat you (Y)

  12. #12

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    Priya as i said earlier also

    all man need is good food and good sex then he is all your.if you are good in this your would be wont cheat you

  13. #13
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    > priya87 wrote:

    mujhe ye samajh nai ata ki log aisa kyu karte hai..

    Hi priya,

    I have a same ques?
    For boys only....

    agar aapki wife ye sab kare to kya aap unhe maaf kar denge? please say true.

    mujhe aap sab ka ans samajh nahi aaya,

  14. #14

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    Priya......
    seen the tread..
    understand your question fully...
    I have found my answers in the real hard way also..
    and as you rightly said it can happen in love marriages too..
    first let me tell you in love marriage what we show up is our bright side only. I do not feel that any one is opening up wide so that the other one understands him/ her fully. There are more things to understand and learn and when he comes to know of the real she and when she gets to know the real him there are problems. Then there are lot of external factors. MIL SIL and like like...................
    All these are contributing factors for the iniial trbles in married life..
    and then comes in the angels I mean kids. Problems do gets solved from many corners but then there are new problems proping in..

    NOW DONT GET SCARED OF ALL THESE PROBLEMS

    the most important thing is lack of proper communication.and i have seen after a while things reach a condition where hus is not able to open with his wifey and vice versa

    then comes in a friend who becomes so close later on whom you will trust more than your man and start telling him every trivial things in life which you would never tell ur man due to many number of reasons..

    I beleive this is the starting point of an extramarital life/ affair.
    Again tell you dont thing that its just based on the need for sex. may be thats just another factor thats all. The basic funda is every one has his/her needs and everyone feels that the same in not taken care of by the other side inthe desired way. who wants to compromise ?? we are all educated and well palced!!

    priya its very difficult to explain the case in as many few words as possible. But i tried giving you just a speck of the whole iceburg. we will do it more details some time

    one thing u don take all these to your haed now cos u are having one of the best times in your life as of now (Y)
    regards
    sasi

  15. #15
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    Guys,


    I don't agree even a with you all...

    Sabse pehle to agar log yahi sochne lage ki humari to problem nahi hai dusre ki hai usse huamra koi lena dena nahi to iss duniya ke saare NGOs band hi ho jane chaiye.. Gareeb aur zyada gareeb aur sataye hue aur zyada majboor hote jayenge aur Humanity naam ki cheez jo kuch hadd tak abhi baki hai, iss duniya se hi uth jayegi...



    About Deficiencies in Married life, kamiyaan kis insaan me nahi hoti.. Mere me hain aapme hain aur hum sab me hain... Aur jab har ek individual me kamiyaan hoti hain to fir koi bhi marriage perfect nahi ban sakti.. Kuch kamiyaan sabhi marriages me hoti hain...

    Khud ki taraf se ya relatives & family ki taraf se, Kahin na kahin har relation me ched hota hi hai... But kya agar ek maa bete ke rishtey me hole hota hai to wo maa apne bete ko ghar pe chodke dusre bachche ko saari mamta lutane lag jati hai.. Kabhi nahi...

    Balki wo pehle apne bete ke liye perfect mother banna chalu karti hai fir duniya ke liye sochti hai..
    Aur maa-baap ka relation to aisa hota bhi hai jo ki aap kahin bhi share kar sakte ho..

    But husband-Wife ka relation jo hota hai use aap jab bhi kisi third person se share karoge to aapki aankhon me ek chori aur khud se makkari chupi hoti hai...
    Aap apne khudke Dil aur dimag ko bhi uske liye convince nahi kar pate life-long ki aapne apni Wife ke saath jo kiya wo sahi kiya.. Fir bhale hi aapki Wife ko wo cheez zindgi bhar pata bhi na chale...

    Aap khud se kabhi nazrein nahi mila pate aur jab bhi apna chehra dekhte ho to ek dhokebaaz dikhayi deta hai....





    But Question yahan ye nahi hai... Question ye hai ki itna hone ke baad bhi koi insaan kaise ye sab cheezen soch bhi sakta hai..???





    Ek true story, meri ek didi hain jinhone mujhe ek real life story sunai aur wo kuch kuch priya ke question se match karti hui hai...



    Ek Couple hai.. Unki Love marriage hui, parents ne dono taraf se bilkul saath nahi diya aur uske baad wo log country se bahar chale gaye.. Wahan pe unka sab theek thaak chal raha tha.. 2 bachche ho gaye... Problem bas ye thi ki uska pati ekdum Sex-maniac tha... Aur one fine day uss bandi ko pata chala ki uska pati har roz right from the day of thr marriage nayi nayi ladkiyon ko resort & all me le jata hai... Aur to aur He never uses the a single girl twice...



    When she asked him ki tum mujhse pyaar nahi karte to uss bande ka Answer tha ki "I love You a lot but mujhe satisfaction nahi hota jab tak koi nai ladki na mile din me 1 baar..."

    Wife ne sab kuch karne ki koshish ki.. Everything she could do, she tried.. but then also she was unable to convince him ki wo ye sab kuch rok de...



    Now this girl was so much horrified she called her brother but her brother shooted a question that "Shaadi karte waqt humari yaad nahi aayi abhi kyoo arahi hai..."

    Now her every friend & relative is just answering her that "Wo jo bhi kar raha hai kam se kam tujhe aur bachcho ko khane aur rehne ko to de raha hai na..."



    Now tell me is this Ok for her... Har roz wo apne pati ko kisi aur se bant rahi hai.. Apni Self-respect ke tukde karke apne bachcho ko paal rahi hai...

    Doesn't a woman have the right to ask her husband to stop this...???
    & If she had done this by any means what would her husband have done in reply...???


    & why would We as a human not help her.. Or think about the concern...???

    If anyone has any answer plz reply...

  16. #16
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    @ Shweta - Kya likha hai.........:-S :-S

  17. #17
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    Hi Priya,

    Nice question. Even I was thinking about this since very long time back but never got a chance to express what I think.

    Thanks to you and SD for this chance.

    Well, Extra Marital Affairs exists for both Man and Woman.

    Before writing my explanation which is based on real examples floating around me, i would like to say that it is may not match with belief of each individual(All reader o this thread). So please don't take it personally.

    Extra Marital Affair for Woman:

    Woman is the most complex and wonderful creature of God and Most of the Man doesn't understand her need as it is difficult to understand woman expectations.

    Woman has pretty high EQ (Emotional Quotient) compare to man and she expects emotion, love, feelings, concerns to be expressed from husband. In most of the cases, she expects her man to understand her needs without saying words.

    Most of the husband fail in this (There are also exceptions ). So she looks out desperately for such person who can understands her (please note there is no sex factors involved yet) and finally as described by SASII she gets good friend and then relation goes ahead and finally resulting in extra marital affair.

    In this case 99% Man (though i have never seen remaining 1% on the earth so far ) with whom she starts relations, are pretty much aware of her expectations and they trap her by creating his own virtual story which sounds similar to her story and they take full advantage of her and at the same time, Woman will think she has got her real soul mate and finally when she realize the fact, it would be too late for her.

    To avoid this :

    (1) Both Husband & Wife should be aware of emotional and physical need of each other and share the same.

    (2) Wife should never overestimate her husband with high EQ, as Men are always dumb in EQ. . So let them know clearly what you want.

    (3) Even after explaining, woman finds that her husband is not getting her needs, she should try different ways to explain him, but going out to look for true love and soul mate, after marriage is bullshit because there are always Hungry Wolfs waiting outside.

    Extra Marital affair for Man:

    Man is the simplest creature of the GOD, so I say for Woman it is easy to understand and read the mind of the man.(There are exception in woman , who are over emotional and trust their husband like God ).

    Among my most of the friends, who are married are happy with their marriage life but it does not stop here, as there are still extra marital affairs initiated & executed successfully by few of them.

    99% Men after marriage are damn loyal to their wives(sounds shocking ? ), UNLESS THEY GET CHANCE. The way monkey never forgets jumping, man won't (Sorry to all Guys but it is what i felt ) .

    Various reason behind our belief of considering respective Man as loyal husband is

    1.) He is not getting chance

    2.) Fear of her:
    He is getting chance but afraid of his wife to extend relation (she is very smart not emotional fool)

    3.) They are afraid. If his wife comes to know about his affair, she might also start affair outside and he will not be able to say single word to her in this situation.

    4.) They are Really Loyal ( Though I have never seen so far this remaining 1 % category of Men , but I hope they exist on earth)

    One more thing, I am not married so far so I don't know in which category I will fall after marriage . So please spare me out of your questions.(just kidding)

    To all women: How to check about your Man:

    I would suggest not to try this as, 99% results will be disappointments.

    You can ask your best friend(Girl ) to start flirt with your husband and see what happens.

    To avoid this:

    Only one solution: Understand your man's Needs, try to fulfill with loyalty and last but not the least Woman needs to think with More IQ and little bit less EQ.

    One more suggestion to all women:

    I heard many times Woman calling Man a DOG but I strictly object it as it is big insult for whole community of DOG, because DOGs are loyal.

    So please don't call Man a Dog .

    Regards,
    Sandy

  18. #18

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    All poor comments on the topic! The simple and ordinary thought and theory that just the extra marital partner will only be capable of fulfilling one's full sexual needs and unfulfilled desires more than his real life partner looks so cheap, wild and poor that nothing can be said ahead. It may be one of the main reasons but not the only reason.

  19. #19

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    Nobody like their partner to cheat but they dnt mind doing the same.
    This all depends on individual habit and upbringing
    if one is honest from childhood chances of one cheating his spouse is less

  20. #20

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    hi Priya
    log extra merital affair karte hai rather say ho jate hai as they need some change from rutine life. In married life, after birth of children dhire dhire sub uch rutine ka stereo type ho jata hai. So jara sa thandi hawa ka jhonk a milte he dil kuch change chata hai. But as they love their partner also, so generally koi is relation ko open nahi karta as one care 4 his partner most. Although it remains for a short period, yet it create ,many complecations in life.
    Baki Pyar hota hai tu hota hai ya hota he nahi



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