Thread: How & where do I need to take divorce?
I am Samhitha. I am living in US since 7 yrs with my husband. after marriage my husaband came back to US on 3rd day itself. before coming to US, I stayed 7 days in my in-laws home that was very first horrible days in my life. the day I stepped on thair house itself my in-laws started abusing me and my parents too. I need to wash dishes, sweeping the house and washing cloths and they took me to their biological relatives there I need to cook and serve all the people and then I need to eat. I thought that my husband is loving me alot (based on his way of talking on ph calls between engagement & marriage) and I can have better life with him. But after coming to US 2nd day onwards he started torchuring me mentally. First one year I cryed every day. before going to office & lunch time & before going to bed.. he has to abuse me . that is his daily routine job. If I try to give reply to his words his eyes will become red and his face is so scary. at that time I was afraid even to think, to talk. In his view wife means just slave. He wants only cook, servent & bedmate. till now he never beat me. but always he is giving lecture to me. whatever I do is wrong. whatever I say is wrong. we went to India two times but I need to stay only in-laws house. I visited my mother's house for few days like a relative along with him. in-laws treated me like a servent, I should not sit on sofa, I should talk on the phone infront of them only that to if my parents call me. I should not make a call to my parents. my in-laws don't accept me to go to my mother's place to stay few more days. whatever occasions happens to my mothers' house till now my husband didn't send me. after completion of every India visit within one week he creates horrible suituation in home by abusing me that my mother said you did that wrong, my father said you did that wrong. My husband loves his parents morethan his life. he do ph calls every day to his parents and he conveys what he did from morning to evening. I don't have freedom at all. I life was spoiled. I did PG and I did work before marriage in India. but now I lost my confidence. I feel like I cann't do anything. I fedup with him. I depressed alot. I want to get rid off with this slavary life. I've 4 yrs old son. I want to take divorce but I want my son. without my son I can't live. where do I need to take divorce? In India or In US? any help can I get in US? Since 7 yrs I am living in US though I am new to US except which city I live.
If anyone knows the procedure then plz help me.
What a truly horrifying life you have to live. I can't even begin to understand how you have tolerated all this mental / physical / emotional abuse for so long. However, better late then never.
I would suggest that you apply for divorce in the US rather then in India as you are living there and will be able to get a better deal out of it which you deserve to. You will be able to get your son's custody and also a good deal on the child support fund from your husband. He won't be able to fiddle his earning figures in the US whereas he might be able to get away with it in India. If the divorce is granted in the US it would be very difficult for your husband to default on the divorce orders as he could be sued for failing to abide by the conditions set by the order.
I think you need to quickly find a good divorce lawyer and start proceedings.
Do you work at the moment?
Where do you plan to live during and after the divorce?
Samhitha, please don't lose hope. Think of yourself and your son. You have to be brave for both of you - you are a postgrad, you worked in India, you are a capable woman. The fact that you have made a firm decision to make your life and your son's life better shows that you can deal with this situation.
Don't let your husband or his family intimidate you at all at this point. They will try all sorts of tricks to get you to back out of applying for divorce because they will be losing a slave and a punching bag for all their mixed up cruel intentions. Think of your son and how traumatizing it must be for a little 4 year old to grow up in such an unhappy environment. I feel so sad for him and you that you both have to go thru such a horrible experience.
I hope that you get out of this situation mentally ,emotionally and physically stronger to look after your son in a manner that will make you both happy and peaceful. If you need to talk more, there are some nice people here who would surely help you as much as possible.
hello there how r u ? would u like wanna be friend of mine ? msg me please waiting 4 ur reply hope u will reply me when u read my this msg :) thx in advance