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Thread: Pros and Cons of Live in Relationship in India

  1. #1
    I am a 24 yrs old guy from Puna working for the past 3 yrs in Mumbai. I have a girlfriend and we have been living together in Mumbai for 6-7 months although we are not married yet.We have both decided to let the situation continue but I would just like to know if it is right acceptable and what are the pros and cons of a live in relationship?



  2. #2
    I think that a couple gets to know one another better if they are already staying together before marriage. You get the best possible perspective upon whether the two of you are compatible or not. If the answer not, well you have a way out.

    On the other hands there are many relegious and social taboos attached to this kind of an arrangement and for good reason.

    In the end it is best is it all depends upon the circumstances.

  3. #3
    I strongly suggest against this. Arranged marriages work best for a reason. True caring for the other person takes adjustment. Shacking with girlfriends is ill-advised in my opinion, as it violates the sacredness of marriage. I am not trying to "preach" to everyone, just letting you know that the idea of boyfriend and girlfriend is not good because it leads to premarital sex.

  4. #4
    I would say, if you get married with her its good and if you don't, it would be the worst for both of you.

    I wish that would never happen, but think the other side, for some reason, if both of you have to break up, do you think the second girl whoever she will be coming into your life is gonna trust you? OR Would you trust any girl who has a living relationship with some other guy and broke up after few months/years???? If you can answer this, I think that is the answer!!!!

  5. #5

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    Live in relationship is just a mutual understanding between two person of different or same sex to live together, share a common household luxuries & even indulge in sex with each others consent. Legally they have no liabilities against each other, nor do they get any legal rights that they can enforce against each other which only a married couple have. The right to residence, right to inheritence, right to bear legitimate children, right to claim insurance as a legal spouse etc is the various legal rights only married couples have & not live in relationship people. These rights are provided in the matrimonial laws which govern the parties even the Protection Of Women From Domestic Violence Act, 2005, clearly provides in section 2(f) "domestic relationship" means a relationship between two persons who live or have, at any point of time, lived together in a shared household, when they are related by consanguinity, marriage, or through a relationship in the nature of marriage, adoption or are family members living together as a joint family; no where it includes such live partners as one of my friend here has tried to misguide you & all by including such relationship in the definition of domestic relationship. As far saying to avoid the provisions of law of inheritance one can make a will for his her own property, agreed, but what about the property, its share or right to enjoy it, which such a person will inherent being a part of the family from any other family member of her or his spouse as the case may be. Any thing which is not getting any legal recognition cannot be made legal by quoting wrong provisions of law & misguiding others. There is no question of de facto recognition of such live in relationship at least in India as no civilized person of the society will agree to such relationship in his or her family or neighborhood as the case may be, as far de jure recognition is concerned, no legislature will ever enact any such law giving legal recognition to such relationship at least in India where 1 billion people,i.e. one sixth the population of the world live, what these small countries with small population do is none of our concern.
    Although live in relationship has been legally recognized in some countries but in India it is neither legally nor socially recognized. These people indulging in living in relationship may represent in society as married couple for the purpose of leasing a flat or place to live, or avoid any social boycott by the people amongst with they live or work in the India society, but such mere declaration doesn't give them legal rights which only a legally married couple have. The purpose of marriage certificate issued by a competent legal authority such as the registrar of marriages is not only a mere legal document but it is the most important piece of document when it comes handy to all sort of legal issues as I stated above. These live in couples don't process such legal documents & if they have to seek any legal help anytime regarding each other they won't get any. The live in relationship only save their time & money, incase they fail to continue this relationship anytime in their life & they can simply walk out of each other's life just without going through any legal formalities which is required in case of legally married couples, who have to go through the complete judicial process that is provided in the matrimonial law according to which they got married. In that case they get their legal rights of maintenance, custody of child, settlement of their properties & place of residence too decided accordingly. The live in relationship doesn't have any legal right to claim all these, incase the give birth to any child, its the mother who gets the legal guardianship of the illegitimate child , if the father wants it & the mother agrees for it then he can be the legal guardian of this illegitimate child too. The question of maintenance to any live in partner doesn't arise as such in law, unless their relationship were long enough to be considered as relationship of husband & wife. I state this is based on a recent Delhi High Court Judgment where a lady who lived with a man for long period of time although their marriage was illegal & void in the eye of law was granted her claim of maintenance for herself & her children. The judgment I quote here is based on illegal & void marriage where a marriage ceremony took place although that marriage was void in law. How far court will allow such a claim of maintenance in case of live in partner is a question of law & facts, whether their long staying together be considered as marriage although no legal ,valid marriage ceremonies took place between them, is a issue only the court can decide, prime ficia such live in relationship will not be considered as marriage between them, but to get this benefit of maintenance the main consideration that will be weighed by the court will be the period of their stay together as well how their relationship was recognized by the society, all these are matter of facts which they have to bring on records of the court to decide such an issue. After reading all these legal issues regarding such live in relationship & complications involved in such relationship, I doubt any sensible person will like to go in for it unless it is for very short period just for the purpose of sexual gratification amongst the people involved in such relationship.

    once again thanks alot.

  6. #6

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    > romans wrote:

    > I am a 24 yrs old guy from Puna working for the past 3 yrs in Mumbai. I have a girlfriend and we have been living together in Mumbai for 6-7 months although we are not married yet.We have both decided to let the situation continue but I would just like to know if it is right acceptable and what are the pros and cons of a live in relationship?


    u r livin in india at lest think abt d fate of d gal ,its ok if u will 100% marry her but w@ if u leave her
    prin
    ce

  7. #7

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    Live-in-relationship is a pure form of high-tech adultery. Unlike Marriage system, it is very fragile and it can be dissolved at any moment. It cannot build safe and secured society. It is formed merely on the pillars of individualism, money and fashionable life style. It is an alternative system for marriage, usially practiced in few western countries. Now this fashion has spread to India, like AIDS. Today some youth adopt this just because they would like to escape from commitment and responsibilities. Blood relations in it are very weak and improper. Unlike in Marriage system, the depth of love, commitment and unity is very shallow in Live in relationship. Children are the ultimate sufferers when the spouses segregate each other. The only advatage in Live in relationship is that it is devoid of domestic violence and patriachy, and it is easily dissovable at any moment. In live in relationship, a man or a woman can change any number of spouses, whenever boredup. Live in is usually practiced by the people of some high classes and by few high salary receiving IT employees.

    Marriage is involved with many religious rituals which can strengthen the family system. Marriage system is very well accepted and supported by the society. In Marriage system, the couples are compramized with each other even at the times of quarrels. Even though the couples want to depart, the elders will make it imppossible. India has the greatest family sytem in the world, due to its strong culture and traditions. Where as in western countries there is no strong family system. There the traditional laws are very liberal. Hence Americans usually change their spouses like we change dress daily. Good families are very rare in America. Man and Woman can be tied together for life time only with nupital thread, and not with any other thread. Any relation between a man and woman, that does not involve any religion, will not sustain for long. It is very unfortunate that poor and innocent Indians are fascinated towards the west, like a fox applied striped burns after looking at a Tiger. However Shiny are the distant hills.

    But the reasons for the Live in relationship to increase in India is :

    Downfall of Joint familiies
    Globalization and western culture
    Growth of individualism and fashionable life style
    Women empowerment and their economical security
    Feminismfight against tradition and culture
    Dowry and Domestic Violence
    Movies and TV media

  8. #8

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    yar pagel ho gae ho kya 3 sal purana post kyu taza ker rae ho???

    auro post mae mja nai araha kya???

  9. #9

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    Dear Roman,

    Im sorry not to respond with an answer to your query - instead I was wondering if you and your girlfriend would like to take part in a social experiment that the BBC are conducting. We're looking for young married and unmarried couples to live together in a house provided by us for a period of four weeks. Its a really exciting international series about young couples where they get to experience together what their life would be like in fast forward - they'll experience what its like to live together (which you do already), do household chores, assume responsibilities for various roles around the house, taking care of family and the biggest responsibility - parenting.

    This is not a show like Big Boss or Splitsvilla - it is a genuine social experiment that has been made by the BBC in 5 countries already. And now, they want to make it in India.

    I hope that you and our girlfriend will be interested. If you are, you could reply to this post or you could call the BBC office on 022 2660 6581 and leave your name and number for me.

    Thanks so much.

    PS - I dont think what you're doing is wrong at all.

  10. #10

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    Live in relationship

    Advantages:

    In Live in relationship, there are equal rights for man and woman
    Decisions are very free to choose
    A Man will no authority over his female partner, and vice versa
    Live in relationship is the ideal alternative for feminists, as they can preserve their own maiden names
    Thre is no mangalsutra. This means that Women are free of man's authority
    Live in relationship does not have dowry and domestic violence

    Disadvantages:

    Live in relationship resembles a pure form of high-tech adultery.
    Live in relationships are very fragile and can break at any point of time.
    Live in relationship is basically built up on the pillars of individualism, money and fashion.
    Live in relationship, there is no concept of Husband and Wife
    Live in relationship cannot build secured society by any means
    Live in relationship is conditional and it lacks commitment and sacriment
    Live in relationship is devoid of religion, traditions and culture
    In Live in relationship, the head of the family is absent
    The depth of love is shallow unlike in Marriage
    The blood relations in Live in relationship are uncertain
    Live in relationship destroys the family system existing until now
    Live in relationship is purely a immoral product of the west
    Live in relationship cannot have a unique family name.
    Live in relationship is easily dissolvable
    Women and Children are the ultimate sufferers in Live in relationship
    The success % of Live in relationship is only about 10%
    Live in relationship makes India as another America
    America has no culture. Hence most of the couples change their spouses like we change clothes daily. Good families there are very rare.
    Live in relationship fashion loosens the bond of love between man and woman

    Marriage system

    Advantages:

    Marriage is involved with religious rituals, which help a family to sustain for longer
    Marriage needs a sacriment and commitment
    Marriage is comparitively difficult to dissolve
    Marriage is unconditional sacriment
    In Marriage, one Husband and wife are submissive to each other
    In Marriage system, Husband and wife prepare to die for each other. Hence the depth of love is greatest.
    In Marrige life, Wife plays homemaking, Husband earns by his sweat for his family
    In Marriage Husband is the head of the family
    The religion, ethics, and morals in marriage sytem does not support husband and wife to segregate at any cost.
    Sexual life is rich in Marriage life
    Women can share husband's property and hence they will be secured
    Even at the time divorce, she is supported by her parents
    Finally marriage system builds very secured society and healthy family system

    Disadvantages:

    Dowry and Domestic Violence do exist rarely in Marriage system
    Marriage system appears to male dominated for feminists, who thinks that culture is the obstacle for a woman's freedom.

    Conclusion:

    Society is formed with traditions and customs which are foundational pillars. A society is said to be ruined when the culture is ignored. Unfortunately, the western culture is uprooting the Indian culture in the name of pubs, discotheques, valentine's day etc. Feminism is also uprooting the Indian culture in the name of "Male domination" or Patriachy. As a result, many young couples are getting segregated with in few days of marriage. Women employment and their economical freedom, Downfall of Joint families, Growth of individualism and fashionable life style are major reasons for family break ups.
    Considering the above points observed from the society, there is no better alternative to marriage system. Youth should study Indian epics like Ramayana and Mahabharata and know the greatness of Indian culture and tradition. Modern parents should bring up their sons and males and daughters as females, along with moral values, ethics and reliogious thoughts. A society ruins when men ignore ethics and women ignore traditions. Picking up the holes in one's own tradition is very dangerous.

  11. #11

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    Live in relationship & Marriage life --- Pros and Cons --- UPDATED VERSION

    Advantages:

    In Live in relationship, there are equal rights for man and woman
    Partners are very free to take any kind of decisions
    A Man will no authority over his female partner, and vice versa
    Live in relationship is the ideal alternative for feminists, as they can preserve their own maiden names
    Thre is no mangalsutra. This means that Women are free of man's authority
    Live in relationship does not have dowry and domestic violence

    Disadvantages:

    Live in relationship resembles a pure form of high-tech adultery.
    Live in relationships are very fragile and can break at any point of time.
    Live in relationship is basically built up on the pillars of individualism, money and fashion.
    Live in relationship, there is no concept of Husband and Wife
    Live in relationship cannot build secured society by any means
    Live in relationship is conditional and it lacks commitment and sacriment
    Live in relationship is devoid of religion, traditions and culture
    In Live in relationship, the head of the family is absent
    The depth of love is shallow unlike in Marriage
    Sexual life is uncertain
    The blood relations in Live in relationship are uncertain
    Live in relationship destroys the family system existing until now
    Live in relationship is purely a immoral product of the west
    Live in relationship cannot have a unique family name.
    Live in relationship is easily dissolvable
    Women and Children are the ultimate sufferers in Live in relationship
    The success % of Live in relationship is only about 10%
    Live in relationship makes India as another America
    America has no culture. Hence most of the couples change their spouses like we change clothes daily. Good families there are very rare.
    Live in relationship fashion loosens the bond of love between man and woman

    Marriage system

    Advantages:

    Marriage is involved with religious rituals, which help a family to sustain for longer
    Marriage is an unconditional sacriment and commitment
    Marriage is comparitively difficult to dissolve
    Marriage life conserves great unity and oneness among the family members
    In Marriage, Husband and wife should be answerable and submissive to each other
    In Marriage system, Husband and wife prepare to die for each other. Hence the depth of love is greatest.
    In Marriage, there is a family head, typically husband, and rarely wife
    The religion, ethics, and morals in marriage sytem does not support husband and wife to segregate at any cost.
    Sexual life is very rich in Marriage life
    Women can share husband's property and hence they will be secured
    Even at the time divorce, she is supported by her parents
    Finally marriage system builds very secured society and healthy family system

    Disadvantages:

    Dowry and Domestic Violence do exist rarely in Marriage system
    Marriage system appears to male dominated for feminists, who thinks that culture is the obstacle for a woman's freedom.

    Conclusion:

    Society is formed with traditions and customs which are foundational pillars. A society is said to be ruined when the culture is ignored. Unfortunately, the western culture is uprooting the Indian culture in the name of pubs, discotheques, valentine's day etc. Feminism is also uprooting the Indian culture in the name of "Male domination" or Patriachy. As a result, many young couples are getting segregated with in few days of marriage. Women employment and their economical freedom, Downfall of Joint families, Growth of individualism and fashionable life style are major reasons for family break ups.
    Considering the above points observed from the society, there is no better alternative to marriage system. Youth should study Indian epics like Ramayana and Mahabharata and know the greatness of Indian culture and tradition. Modern parents should bring up their sons and males and daughters as females, along with moral values, ethics and reliogious thoughts. A society ruins when men ignore ethics and women ignore traditions. Picking up the holes in one's own tradition is very dangerous.

  12. #12

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    But these days who cares about before marriage. here guys didn't understand one point. the things are done. no use of boasting. the problem lies on what is next. are you really gonna marry her or does she have an idea of marrying you... is this is the case then continue... else both need to talk to each other before splitting up. this is very important because no one of you should be thinking of the past sweetness after engaged with a different person...

    if you gonna marry ... hurrah... enjoy... but things can never be the same... and you didn't tell about your life style and hers... so its not easy to judge or suggest completely and even if people give a complete reply... what happens next he really a million dollar ?. as far as i have seen it was and is easy for girls to change their mind from one guy to another when it comes to marriage... because from the stone age the body and mind of a female will be attracted to either a strong man or an economically strong man... this is because their genes are always aware of who is going to seed and will that be worth to reap thy seed and to nurture it... i hope you and the guys can understand...

    so you have to decide whether it is just amorous relation ship or eternal relationship ... finally if both of you are serious about marrying (you and her) then go on... by reading this people say oh no... bullshit ... this is worng...

    you see even now somebody's will be barking or mewing or both... ITS ALL IN THE GAME.

  13. #13

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    and above all rameshraju's points are right

  14. #14

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    Very Thank you Cupid Samy...

    I was just saying that:

    Marriage system has more advantages than Live in relationship. Our culture is apparently appears male dominated to feminism, which feels that culture is a shackle for a woman's freedom. it is becuase the culture and tradition was been enforced by men, and not by women. But the same culture is conserving the family system. Every culture in the world may rarely have loop-holes. But picking up holes in one's own tradition directly effects the family sytem and society in negative manner. Now days it has become quite fashion for most of young indians to pick the holes in tradition. It is just because they want abudant individual freedom beyond the limits of culture, which is very dangerous. Freedom with in the limits of one's own nation's culture is very safe. Parallelly boundless Individualism is very dangerous. Traditions in culture are to be taken positive. There is only one way to secure our society. Indian government should ban pubs, discotheques, nightclubs and fashion shows. Live in relationship, which is a threat to Indian family system, should be treated as the most illegal relationship by the court of law. Picking up holes in one's own culture is like digging one's own graveyard. Youth should remember that : SHINY ARE THE DISTANT HILLS; and that A SOUR-CURRY OF A NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE IS VERY TASTY.

  15. #15

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    I m a 30yrs guy having own add & travel business . I want a femal partner to stay friendly relation .So pla mail me if anyone is interested......

  16. #16
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    The only female partner one can trust is wife. Living with other females other than wife, with or without having sexual relationship, is a pure hi-tech form of adultery. This kind of relationships ruins the culture.

  17. #17

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    Living in relationship is going to be popular day by day in India because of the misuse of prowoman laws by wifes in the Indian society. Women misuse the prowoman laws to EXTORT BIG AMOUNTS of money from the Husbands. Because there is no provision in law against woman who misuses laws, they easily misuse the prowoman laws and marry multiple times after multiple divorces to extort big sums from the husbands. Though in small percentage but this is a business in India being done due to the existence of such prowoman laws having defects and the VERY SLOW speed of the legal machinery in India. Due to reasons like these, the living in relationship is going to be a blessings to the victimized men in the Indian Society who is boasting of CULTURE unnecessarily. Thank U Dr Oza

  18. #18

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    Hey Rameshraju??

    There is no mangalsutra. This means that Women are free of man's authority --- ????

    ARE YOU SURE THAT YOU ARE LIVING IN THIS CENTURY BUDDY ?? OR IN 18TH CENTURY IN SOME SOUTHERN VILLAGE WITH AUTHORITY DANDA IN YOUR HAND??

    Grow a Pair and think!!!

    Live in relationships are nothing more than "PERSONAL CHOICES" made by "ADULTS" and when you make mistakes you pay for it, does not matter if it is choosing the wrong partner for marriage or LIR.

    All your points are very very backward and quite offending at the same time.

    I am not in a LIR but I do not condemn it as a disease as you just did.

    There is nothing wrong with LIR if you play it right and respect your partner as an individual and equal instead of showing AUTHORITY and try to be HEAD of the family.

    I don't have that much time on my hand otherwise I can rip apart each and every point you mentioned.

    QUITE UPSETTING AND DISGUSTING!!!

    KSingh...

  19. #19

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    at least there are no divorces..lol..

  20. #20

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    Kitty?

    What you mean by "there are no divorces" ?

    Cheers!!

    Singh



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