Thread: mom-in-law problem!!!Please help me
I heart fully welcome you to this forum. It's a everyday problem where every women is facing in India. I personally have seen many of them who has been criticized to such an extent where many women are committed suicide. But in your case your husband is very lovable to you and i wish he is the same forever. Adjust with them and you support her in all the ways. You have to appreciate her in such a way that she turns to your side and loves you. You like her way of thinking and all sort of tactics you can use on her. Not every time she can pull your legs, you take a chance. Please share your feelings with your husband feel free to share your feelings in this forum.
mom-in-law problem!!!Please help me
As a Psychologist she appears like a Mother who is not willing to discarding "of her baby boy". She will not settle for that he is actually able to prepare and he is to cross her. She most likely incorporates always held an extreme purpose of power in his life and since of his he loves her however has a concern of crossing her and in spite of what proportion he loves you..this is getting to be some extent of competition between the 2 of you..it might truly result in a clear stage up..especially since it seems he's taking his Mother's facet.
About the sole issue you'll do is to undertake to induce onto her sensible facet once more though it's arduous for you to try to to. "Cuddle up" to her though you do not wish to. you do not got to have an "everyday" relationship together with her|along with her} however attempt to build your relationship with her higher and check out to incorporate the folks she "talks badly to" in your life additionally. Tell her you like her and build her fell "wanted"and not like an "outsider" therefore she will not feel alienated or threatened by the thought of losing her Son to you for sensible. She is perhaps not totally mentally stable and feels she wants him in her life to create her life complete and she or he ought to be having a person her own age filling that require...but that may not your home to inform her. obtaining beside her is your best and solely bet...if you do not there's an opportunity you'll lose him as a result of quite like he will not go against his Mother. generally keeping your enemies nearer is healthier and easier than keeping them additional away. I want you the simplest
You love your husband a lot and he does the same. Yours is a love marriage, please don't worry about your MIL's because as the time goes their minds will change according to your expectation. Though their hurt, kindly bear for the sake of your husband. Until and unless he is with you, you have no fear of your in law's. I would advise you to be the same. Smile at them though they don't do, later they will definitely learn from you and the mistake that they had committed against you.
Problem with Sister-in-law
Like Monika, i am also facing a problem with my in-laws.
I am working in a reputed MNC as senior software engineer. And now i am married since 4 months and it is an arranged marriage.
My hubby is a sweet person. He loves me a lot. But when it comes to his mom and sister he always supports them.
We don't stay with in-laws but still its a complete torture from them.
Whole of the week, i will be fully tired working and doing household stuff and over the weekend they want me to go and do all sort of work at in-laws place(which is 3 hrs from my place).
My Sister-in-law is not working and she doesnt like me also working.
They are doing all sort of tricks to make me quit my job and stay at home.
My SIL calls my hubby daily and forces him to get baby as soon as possible.
And my hubby wants me to quit the job if i carry as there is nobody to take care.
We were staying in such a nice house for 4 months.
My SIL did not like us staying in such a luxury house and she wanted us leave that house.
She told there is some vasthu problem in the house and made my hubby vacate the house
My hubby did not even think before vacating the house and did not even ask me before informing the owner that we will be vacating.
She even told me directly that my hubby will be acting according to what she says.
Now they have told my hubby not to spend even a penny for anything.
So every month in the beginning, he transfers all his money to him mom's account and rest of the month i need to spend for house hold expenditures.
And my husband never allows me to go to my mom's place which is just 1 hr from my place.
Now they are asking us to travel from in-laws place which is 3 hrs from the office as we have already vacated our house.. which is not possible.
My SIL is the cause for all these problems.
She tunes my MIL before we go to native over weekends.
And my MIL makes me do all the work over the weekend. Even my hubby says 'you wont die if u do the work'.
Now she is calling my hubby daily and tells so many things about me and my hubby come home and shows all his anger on me.
I am really frustrated with the married life and have no idea when my husband will understand my feelings and when my SIL will stop interfering in my life.
One night you don’t sleep also make ur hubby awake and speak out all your problems.
Ask him Wdr he truly love and trust u or not.
Ask for the privacy in soft manner.
Shed your tears.
Ask the reason for SIL grudge on u.
If you really don’t have any hard feelings on in-laws-family, prove your love towards them.
Tell him to think over his future with you and your kids.
The way u speak must be very tricky, it shouldn’t be like u completely telling him to stop the relationship with MIL family.
Be Coool, Dont ever take any wrong decision!!
Last edited by celebrity_shalini; 06-21-2012 at 11:51 AM.
Problem with SIL
Thank you Shalini for you reply and your concern towards me.
The problem with my SIL is that she did not like me getting married to my hubby as our horoscopes did not match( According to SIL). But my hubby was the one who liked me at the first instance and he forced all of his family members to get married to me.
Now my SIL is creating situations like me and my husband doesn't get along much and finally she says your horoscopes doesnot match and it may go till divorce level also. I have no idea which astrologer says all these to her or she herself develops these kind of conclusions. I really don't want to spoil my life by divorcing. I want to lead a happy life with my husband. One day if SIL is out of station, my hubby behaves in a normal way and nice way. Next day if she is there, his behaviour changes like anything. Dont know wht she keep telling him over the call.
Now a days my husband behaves in such a way that he doesn't cross his sis limits. And he has even bet me lot many times which is very hurting.
My mom says me to be quiet for whatever my hubby says. But last time about 2 weeks ago, he bet me for being quiet. He speaks very rudely all sort of bad words.
Shedding tears in front of him doesnt have any value. After my marriage i cant even count how much i have cried.
I am a girl who has been bought up in a very very caring way by my parents. And now i am into the family who doesnt even bother abt me.
Even now my mom feels very bad for the wrong selection.
But i dont say it as the wrong selection as it is the influence of the people around which is making my life miserable.
Even his relatives are so bad that they come and say us to be apart.
First of all i dont trust in the horoscopes and i do trust my love. Hope my love towards my husband makes him realize his and his family member's mistakes.
I go with your moms words, coz if u give back answer or show equal anger definitely relationship will get engrave.
What u do now is, call ur SIL regularly from office and speak to her normally, show her your love. If she is married then maskafy her buy giving pleasant gifts to her and her kids for few days. This might bring some soft corner on u as well even your hubby will be happy for it.
Though u donít trust horoscope, still tell your mom to check it ones with good astrologer, if it matches well then show it as proof.
Have hope in good!! Donít ever fight with hubby, move the issue smoothly, bare the pain for bright futureÖ
My prayers are there for u!!