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Thread: the one i love she doesnt love me anymore

  1. #1

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    Nov 2007
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    we have been into relationship for last 7 years , last four months she had been going out with other guy.. i found out as our relationship is a long distance one. now she is very much depressed and feeling guilty i dont want to loose her. i cant give her place to anyone else. please suggest me what to do.she is willing to work out but she said she is trying but she fails. i still love her and i have forgiven her.. will she be able to come out of it.. please suggest me



  2. #2
    Sorry for what happened! But think yourself, use some logic. Your trust has been broken once, you really think you can trust her again?? Every moment you will have piercing doubts whether she is being truthful or not. It is better to end the realtion now, rather than giving her another chance to hurt you. Don't worry, you will find someone who trusts you and will never do anything to break your trust in her.

  3. #3

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    veena she was emotional and she didnt know what she was doing and aside of that she have not done anything wrong . it was just a casual date and meeting in which she shared with that guy. but i trust her a lot .. she cries and cries and feels guilty but i m sure if she is able to give me a place in her heart she will never be like this again.. i really love her and i feel if i loose her i will never be able to come up. we talk everyday. all she realys is yes or no. she is into a shock i m even planning to leave for india for her soon may be in a week. i know u must be thinking i m a fool but relly its nothing like this, i love her .. i have been with her for 7 years how can i forget her . please suggest me what shud i do to bring her back to me.. she says sorry she says she is trying her best to forget the time she spent.. what shud i do its really tough for me

  4. #4
    You decide. Whether you want someone who broke your trust once or someone who will never give space for doubt. I agree she is emotional and guilty, she should be, right!!? Saying sorry is not going to solve the problem. You say you have been with her since seven years, you know marriages of 10-15 years break just because the rust has been broken once. Agreed, in matters of the heart you can't use logic, but always remember "when you forgive someone, you not only allow that person back into your life, but also give him/her the power to hurt you"!!

  5. #5

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    i agree with u veena, i want to give her a chance. its very tough for me .. but i promise if the things wont work well then i ll let her go . and live with whom so ever she wants . i want to give her a chance bcoz everyone knows abt us even our parents our frends. everyone. so now for me to adjust with someone else will be tough . or i wont be able to give this place to anyone else . i ll just live my life all alone. i respect ur advice but i cant be prectical at this point of time i m being very emotional and i know if she loves me this time.. this is gonna be forever, i really love her. i have spend most of my time with her . its almost impossible for me to forget her. thanks so much for advice but if in case u feel like u have some more advice for me i will appreciate.. :(((((

  6. #6
    Living life alone is just escapism. You cannot possibly punish yourself for no mistake of yours. Talk to your parents about her, sort out the confusion and involve her parents also. If everyone knows about you, I think your parents will be the best advisors in this situation. If she really loves you, she will not hesitate to talk this out in front of elders. Also, chances of breaking trust in future will be reduced with elders and family involved. It is your life. I can only advice you. Whether you follow it or not is solely upto you!!

  7. #7

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    thanks so much for being there. i completely agree with ur advice..i m going to india next week for her. i m gonna surprise her..i want to see the expressions on her face and then i will spend some time with her. let me see if the things work out.. please pray bcoz i have never even seen anyone in this period of seven years i have been loyal, she was upset these years bcoz of distance relationship..i understand her completely. hope wen i go back there she will be alright once she is alright i ll ask her what she wants. i want to hear her first i want to know everything what made her do this, she is really guilty veena thats y i dont feel like punishing her anymore..i wish the things workout but thats true that no one else can take her place.. thanks so much.. u have been a great help in this time of helplessness... :(

  8. #8
    Hey anytime! Just be sure to deal with this in a logical manner and dont do anything under an emotional influence. Involve her family in this as it is a serious matter. All the best!

  9. #9

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    Aug 2007
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    Hey Cadbury...

    Veena gives you some very goos advice here...Also you mentioned that she didnt know what she waz doing...
    Come on, stop making excuses for her, ofcourse she knew what she waz doing & you need to realise that...
    The sooner you do, the faster you stop feeling sorry for yourself & her...

    I mean what if you go to India, spend time with her & her family & then she does this again...
    I mean her family cant babysit her 24 hours u know....

  10. #10

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    thanks veena...
    dear casey i know i m making self satisfaction by all this.. but its 7 years dont u think it will take me so many years to forget her.. i want to give her a chance and after that she does it again it will give me a chance to forget her easily.. believe me its tough at this stage.. i feel i love her a lot.. she have lost weight , she stopped going to work , sitting in darkness. and stopped bahaving normally i think everyone shud be given a chance in life. we are humans we make mistakes but the sooner we realize them much better but then too casey i m feeling so much better to come here and share this problem, as i m very much afraid to tell this to my family members and then the people talk abt our people and say wish we were like this so i ll be hurting so many people by doing this. i want to be very practical giving her a chance and then see what she has to say abt it.. i dont want to regret in life that i didnt try, i want to try and say "god i tried but it didnt work" please forgive me if i was wrong anywhere.... :( its really tough time for me..

  11. #11
    Hey Casey....Thanks for agreeing!

    Cadbury4you, please analyse the situation carefully before coming to a conclusion. I mean, you know exactly what is going on and being afraid of breaking a relation just because other people will talk behind your back does not make sense!! You live your life for yourself or others?? People will talk, come what may. That should'nt stop you from doing what is best for you. Think carefully and don't let emotions cloud your mind. I pose the same question as Casey; what if this happens again? Isnt all of your efforts wasted then? Wont it hurt more? Think, analyse and come to a conclusion. All the best.

  12. #12
    I agree with Veena and Casey to some an extent and with you, to some an extent. It is very difficult to believe in someone once your trust has been broken. So, before giving her a second chance, make sure that you will be able to trust her as much now as you did before everything happened. You should not drag the incident throughout your life and let the past be past. If, after going back to her, you will have doubts like, what if she does it again, it's better to stay away.

    But,if you think you can love her & trust her as much still, go to her. I believe that you should never ever have an 'if' in your life. Its better to give her a chance right now and see how things work out, rather than thinking something like 'If I'd given her a chance, probably things would have worked out', throughout your life. Since you are going to bring her back into your life, remember that between you, things should just be as they were before. And never ever in your life should you taunt her on the mistake she did. If you can do this, go for it.....

    Love her a lot and trust her a lot....I sincerely hope things work out for you.....All the best!!!

  13. #13

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    shillong
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    thanks latika,casey and veena ..u guys have been a great help wen no one is around although u are strangers but then too u have been important i want to give her a chance and love her a lot and bring her back..i have never ever loved anyone else.. i have grown with her. since school she have dont lots of good things for me ...always supported me everywhere i cant leave her for making one mistake out of emotions..i really wish to give her a chance... i m not in a situation where i can afford to loose her...i m being very practical and then the things she have done for me. i can never ever forget..thanks so much guys just pray for me that everything goes well. i really love her and its almost impossible to give her place to anyone else for atleast next few years. till i came back to normal....love u guys
    thanks so much

  14. #14

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    Aug 2007
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    South Africa
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    Hey Cadbury...

    I agree with you with the fact that everyone deserves a seconda chance.. Just dont allow her to manipulate you & then
    make you feel as thuogh you cant live without her. Yes my dear 7 years is alot, so if u fee that giving her another chance
    will do her good as well, then by all means go for it... Just always be careful... I am sure you dont want to get hurt again...

    Take it easy & good luck to you, her & your'lls relationship...
    Have a blessed day

    Casey :)

  15. #15
    Junior Member
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    Oct 2012
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    29
    Hey cadbury,

    I can understand your situation and i know how hard it is...............

    You canít join the broken mirror again, in the same way once it is broken thatís it, donít ever get back to her. If she really loves you, she will definitely come back to you.......donít worry. But never waste your time thinking about her; go ahead with your life......look for your career, concentrate on your work. Because, only education comes with you throughout your life. So better take my advice.

    Hope it helped!!

  16. #16
    Senior Member
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    Sep 2012
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    There are plenty more girls thatís just an option, I understand 7 years with a person it is BIG, so if she doesn't feel the same just the way you do, I know it can take days to weeks she realizes she misses you, and she will probably talk about it, if not talk to her and just give her one more last change see if you both can try again.



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