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Thread: Best jokes ever said

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    delhi
    Posts
    81
    Hi...
    Just post your best and interesting jokes and make us luagh...
    Laughing is a very good exercise for health,so do post your jokes and make us fit and healthy...



  2. #2

    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    kalyan
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    205
    I've never understood why women love cats.
    Cats are independent, they don't listen,
    they don't come in when you call, they like
    to stay out all night, come home and expect
    to be fed and stroked, then want to be left
    alone and sleep. In other words, every quality
    that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

    For u prabat...

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Jan 1970
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    0
    wow !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! itna accha likha hai tumna hum tum se jada is par fida ho gaye
    ;-) :Q

  4. #4

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    Feb 2009
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    silvassa
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    5
    good one.

  5. #5
  6. #6

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    Mar 2009
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    Gurdaspur
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    6
    ha ha ha haaaaa

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Gurdaspur
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    6
    Officer-----what Is Your Name?
    Candidate----m P. Sir
    Officer--------tell Me Properly
    Candidate------mohan Pal Sir
    Officer--------your Father“s Name?
    Candidate------m P. Sir
    Officer--------what Does That Mean?
    Candidate------manmohan Pal Sir
    Officer--------what Is Your Qualification?
    Candidate------m P. Sir
    Officer-------(angrily) What Is It?
    Candidate------matric Pass
    Officer--------why Do You Need A Job?
    Candidate------m P. Sir
    Officer--------and What Does That Mean?
    Candidate------money Problem Sir
    Officer--------this Discussion Nowhere, You May Go Now
    Candidate------m P. Sir
    Officer--------what Is It Now
    Candidate------my Performance.?

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Gurdaspur
    Posts
    6
    1. school ------- yaadein
    2.pricipal ------ Jaani Dushman
    3.classes ------- kabhi kabhi
    4.canteen------- kabhi alvida na kehna
    5.course -------- godzilla
    6.exams -------- kalyug
    7.examination hall---- chamber of secret
    8.exam-time ---------- qayamat se qayamt tak
    9. question paper --------- paheli
    10.answer paper ---------- kora kagaz
    11.cheating ---------- aksar/chupke chupke
    12. paper out ---------- plan
    13.examiner ------------- the killer
    14.last exam ----------- independence day
    15.paper correction --------- andha kanoon
    16.marks ----------- assambhav
    17.result ----------- murder
    18.pass ------------ ajjoba/ chamatkar
    19. fail ----------- devdas
    20.supplementary ------- aakhri raasta
    21.vacation ------------- waah life hoto ais

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Gurdaspur
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    6
    Sardar made a call to airport.
    Asked, "How long is the journey from Punjab to America ?"
    Receptionist: "One second Sir.."
    Sardar: "Ok, thank you"

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Gurdaspur
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    6
    Teacher: is it posible that a person name & surname both r same? Sardar: ya, if Lara Dutta marries Brian Lara, she becomes Lara Lara!

  11. #11

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Gurdaspur
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    Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called?
    Student: I don't know.
    Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called?
    Student: They r called Germs.

  12. #12

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Admonton
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    7
    > Saini.Manpreet wrote:

    > Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called?
    Student: I don't know.
    Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called?
    Student: They r called Germs.

    --Hahaha.. That one was nice.. LOL! :P

  13. #13
    Senior Member
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    Oct 2011
    Posts
    124
    Some of my favorite jokes which I like a lot are

    “Why do ducks have webbed feet?
    To stamp out fires.
    Why do elephants have flat feet?
    To stamp out burning ducks.”

    “When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.”

  14. #14
    Senior Member
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    Oct 2011
    Posts
    218
    Hey I remember few jokes that I ever went through, I would like to share it with you, Check it out.
    • My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other — so now it’s just a waiting game.
    • "What kind of murderer has moral fiber?" — "A cereal killer."
    • Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He goes: "Not in a row!"
    • Always give 100% at work.......
    • 12% on Monday
    23% on Tuesday
    40% on Wednesday
    20% on Thursday
    5% on Fridays
    • How do you get rid ofcockroaches?Tell them you want a long-term relationship

  15. #15
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    160

    funny jockes

    Jokes, funny incidents, hullaballoo are all really addictive. Hear some such jokes:
    •We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police
    •I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness
    •The president of a large corporation opened his directors meeting by announcing, "All those who are opposed to the plan I am about to propose will reply by saying, 'I resign'."
    •A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantation asked about the prices.
    The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000. Here we have a policeman's brain as well. It costs $50,000."
    The client asked, "What? How's that possible?" The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused."
    •I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his ca
    •Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer
    •Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't

  16. #16
    Senior Member
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    Oct 2011
    Posts
    167
    To laugh with reason or without reason it does not matters, what is important is that you have enjoyed hearing it and brought benevolence to your health for doing so. Nobody knows who started first with joke but everyone loves to enjoy it endlessly. Some of the best jokes to share are like:

    1) A crocodile was walking along the high street one day looking for some shoes. "Ah" he said spotting a nice pair "there's my nephew - and what a fine pair of shoes he made." So anyhow this crocodile goes into the shop and takes out his credit card and pays for these shoes. "Er excuse me" says the crocodile. "I have four feet and you have only sold me two shoes." "Well ...



    2) A little kid asks his father, “Daddy, Is God a man or a woman?”
    “Both son. God is both.”
    After a while the kid comes again and asks, “Daddy, is God black or white?” “Both son, both.”
    The child returns a few minutes later and says, “Daddy, Is Michael Jackson a God?”


    3) Customer : “How much is that banana for?”

    Salesperson : “$1.00″
    Customer : “Can you sell it to me for 60 cents?”
    Salesperson : “At that rate, you’ll only get the banana peel!”
    Customer : “Okay… I’ll buy the banana for 40 cents, but you can keep the peel!”


    4) Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly A’s and a couple of B’s.
    However, her teacher had written across the bottom: ‘Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.’
    Sally’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: ‘Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother.’


    5) However, her teacher had written across the bottom: ‘Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.’

    Sally’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: ‘Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother.’

  17. #17
    New Member
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    Apr 2012
    Location
    Mumbai, India
    Posts
    8

    Can't think of it...

    Seeing a cockroch in ur sandwich is not a problem,

    .
    .
    seeing a Half cokroch in ur remaining half sandwich is definity a Big problem

  18. #18
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    198
    Hi,

    I found this Kids’ Joke sounds to be funny…

    A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor’s office.
    He inquisitively asks the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
    She replied, "I'm having a baby."

    With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
    She said, "He sure is."

    Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
    She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."

    With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked...
    "Then why did you eat him?"

    Have a blast!!!



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