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Thread: Wife had affair before Marriage

  1. #1

    Unhappy Wife had affair before Marriage

    Here I am 11 years after marriage.. ours was an arrange marriage. Couple of years after marriage, I came to know that my wife had an affair with a married man before marriage. That man was working with her in her school.. I came to know when we were having some chat ard past and sharing things from past.. Instead of getting excited immediately, I started probing more and she told me things that they did.. She mentioned that they didn't go to the max extent.. I relied on her words, it took me a lot of time however I forgave her.. However that incidence was always hiding at back of mind.. We had kids and I started forgetting.. She is totally dedicated to me and kids.. She loves me a lot..
    I am on a business trip and have plenty of spare time to think.. Watching movie and it had the similar situation and suddenly I started thinking a lot.. Is it possible that a girl get into relationship with a married man and didn't go to the max extent? She and I are having fights everyday.. I just want to know the truth and she still deny that they didn't go to max extent.. I don't know how would I believe on her.. I am flying back home next week.. I am felling so helpless now.. don't know what to do.. i can't leave her because of kids.. Don't want to live with her.. She would remind me of that every day.. I am planning to go for polygraph test and she agreed to that..



  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Trust is an essential thing to make a strong bond of every relation. If your wife had an intention to hide that from you, she never would have revealed that you. First try to understand that, she is faithful to you. Don’t think about the past which was over. Always think about the welfare of your kids. Try to become a good father by showing the love and affection towards your wife. This is an expensive gift for your kids’ progress. You have mentioned that she is much dedicated towards your kids. Then what you are expecting from her more than this?

    Her acceptance for the polygraph test shows the good conduct of her. Taking the Polygraph test will bring a crack in your 11 years of marriage life. Don’t allow the evil things to enter into your mind, which spoils the peace of your life and the people around you. Divert your mind in listening to good music; meditate yourself to keep your mind healthy. Be happy with what you have now…

    All the best for your future!

  3. #3
    Junior Member
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    well said strider........
    cheatedman why r u thinking abt past after 11 years of happy marriage?...... why r u trying 2 spoil ur life now??
    past dosent matter dear, ur wife luvs u a lot tat is only what matters........plz dont spoil a happy home!!!

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    hi Hero,

    Once you break your relationship, you will lose your happiness. Please don't let that happen. Please think of your children's welfare because they are the future citizens and hero of our country. They are yet to start their life and dependent on you people. Please don't cheat them and leave them to suffer.

    Think wise.

  5. #5

    Wife had affair before Marriage pe

    hI
    it seems that ur wife past has impressed u a lot u hav kept ur user name cheated man hmmmm.

    Where is ur intelligence gone u hav two kids and successfully u have completed ur 11 years of marriage then for what u r sticking so much in ur wife eleven year old relationship.She was with you from last eleven years which meant a lot and taking care of you n ur family wholeheartedly in every manner what else you need from her hmmm?

    Why u r digging whole in ur life on your own ?If being honest she has told you all the things honestly it doesnt mean that u behave with her in this manner .it was in her hand that to which extent u shld know all the things she could hav been told that v were just good colleauges n just good friends then u must b knowing that much na but what u r knowing is much more if she wanted to b dishonest with you then she could make her affair continued even after getting married you.Bcoz she has told you abt her past ur love for her has finished for her in once statement.

    Be intellectual n dont go to spoil ur life n ur kids n ur wife life as welll.i understand that for a moment u must be shocked but you urself said thai fro last eleven years she is dedicated for your entire family n loves yuo all a lot.

    Dont spoil future of u kids and a strong bond of ur marriage as well bcoz it will vanish everything.
    Just think calmly n stay coool n try to be as u were with your family.

  6. #6
    Senior Member
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    I too agree with sagarika. I don't understand why this cheatedman is behaving wild towards his wife. She has been very honest towards him and disclosed her past to him and he has taken a chance to leave her which sounds stupid after the marriage of 11 years and i pity for his kids.

    Please behave as a good husband and a good father being with your beloved wife and kids.

    Good Luck!

  7. #7
    Very sorry , bit i would like to say that , now you don't have any concern with her past life , as she is living with you and trust as well honest factor must be there among both of you and that will be really good and essential thing . thanks

  8. #8
    Senior Member
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    Hi,

    Are you crazy? After a long period of marriage you wanna divorce your wife for a stupid thing that she has revealed to you. She is honest and you want to be dishonest which sounds stupid. Your a grown up man who has responsibility to look after your wife and kids who has a great future. Please don't behave like a cruel man. Please please live a happy life.

    Thanks.

  9. #9
    Senior Member
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    I am impressed with every body reply....

    Because all are given here practical solution for this problem..

    Thanks...

  10. #10
    Senior Member
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    I really feel ashamed for these man's behavior. They always make women to suffer a lot though they are lovable towards them. I hate such kind of behavior and have no words for this particular man for being so rude after knowing his wife s past.

    Shameless people.

  11. #11
    [QUOTE=most_wanted;250331]I really feel ashamed for these man's behavior. They always make women to suffer a lot though they are lovable towards them. I hate such kind of behavior and have no words for this particular man for being so rude after knowing his wife s past.

    Shameless people.[/QUOTE]

    Friend the main thing is that what is your problem.
    Firstly identify the problem i.e. your wife or you.

    I red ur story, in my view the main culprit is your mind beoz you have completed 11 yrs of marriage so you heart also loves her,,,,,
    So try to delete all hypothetical stories.... this is the only key to make your life happy.

    You asking about Divorce do u know the consequences ---- let me explain........

    1. You only can file a divorce petition .... ( ur lawyer will make some grounds)

    Now her turn.....

    1. First she will file a complaint against you in CAW Cell
    2. Domestic violence
    3. Dowry case
    4. u/s 125 crpc for maintenance
    5. sec 24 under HMA for maintenance
    6. Child maintenance
    7. Right to residence
    8. Right to property
    9. You may go jail

    So, divorce is not the solution for the same....
    see gud family movies and inspired with the hero...
    Already u told she loves you.....

    I hope now it enough... if further assistance required mail me.

    Thanks

    Anshul

  12. #12
    Hello, Mr. Don’t act like a sadist, think wise...
    No one in this world has passed their life without love and attraction, even ur included in it… So take thinks positive and don’t dig the problem now…. it’s too late in investigating this prob coz u are married and u have kids too, though u know very well that she like u and ur kid very much why are u worried about past…

    Don’t underestimate, Trust the Relationship!!!

  13. #13
    [QUOTE=celebrity_shalini;250451]Hello, Mr. Don’t act like a sadist, think wise...
    No one in this world has passed their life without love and attraction, even ur included in it… So take thinks positive and don’t dig the problem now…. it’s too late in investigating this prob coz u are married and u have kids too, though u know very well that she like u and ur kid very much why are u worried about past…

    Don’t underestimate, Trust the Relationship!!![/QUOTE]



    Shalini ji u are right,

    Mr. please dont be sily.

    See ur future .............

  14. #14
    Yeah Anshulkdang...

    If he keep thinking this incidence damn sure he vl bcum psycho and the sufferers are his wife and kids....

  15. #15

    only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches

    In my opinion woman should confide with her would be husband before marriage about her past . If he accepts marriage after that, its fine with both of them . Otherwise in my opinion lady hiding the fact from her future husband just to get married. Technically it means she is a cheater and disclosing after marriage is of no use, because husband feels that she is the leftover of somebody and had the best of both worlds..an affair before marriage and having a good life after.what can he do now, only sit and grieve. Tell me what is the fault of husband . Reg living the marriage for sake of children , who will heal the wounds of husband , Further the wounds may heal , but scars shall reamin throughout life.. In my opinion there should be law to punish such ladies who cheat their innocent husbands about past afffair. You people will say that now she is honest to heer husband,, I say it is bull shit..100 chuhe kha ke billi haj of chali....I pray for the innocent man who has been cheated , because I am also victim of cheating and still feel hurt daily even after 22 years of marriage.... I curse my wife for doing this hell to me .
    Last edited by peaceful; 05-25-2012 at 08:26 PM. Reason: spelling errors

  16. #16
    Yes sir, I know its not so easy to keep ur feeling dead,,,
    But I think this the forum where people share their problem to others for a reason.

    No nobody can force .........................for any climax.

    Only view shared.............

    Most people have a strong desire to believe what a partner has to say. Trusting a partner creates a sense of security and comfort. No one really wants to think that a spouse may be lying, especially when it comes to infidelity.

    Rather than assume the worst, it's often easier to believe a "pleasant lie" than to acknowledge an "devastating truth." In fact, some people work very hard to overlook a spouse's infidelity, because to acknowledge the alternative is much too painful. This helps explain why the spouse is typically the last to know: Because knowing always causes a faithful spouse the most pain. And cheating spouses take advantage of this. Cheaters often exploit their partner's desire to trust by telling their partners exactly what they want to hear ("I would never cheat on you.").

    If you suspect infidelity, do not confront your spouse until you have proof.

    And while it is helpful to talk to partners about most relationship problems, this is NOT the case when it comes to infidelity. A cheating spouse will almost never admit to infidelity, unless presented with evidence to the contrary.

    Even when presented with evidence, some spouses continue to lie.........

    thnaks,

  17. #17
    Yes Mr. Anshul...

    I think this is the fact that u have explained and i am very agree with your quotes.

    I went throug the posts in this favour..... it's looks prime facie allegations
    Which u have explained in both of ways (legally nd friendly).

    Thanks Friends.

  18. #18
    Hi

    older people says marriage is made in heaven and you have blessed with two kids you have to live happily think about ur kids future throw out your dirty mind trust is life always believe it don't think Ur happiness think of kids happiness be faithful to Ur wife always past is past think of present and future educated person knows more value of it . She is very honest and she love you. so only she said every thing truth .Always be happy with Ur family never go with wrong ideas ....

  19. #19
    Hello Ashes,
    By seeing this story I can make out what is your patience level, and I don’t think ur wife deserve a good hubby like u… their whole family is just looking for money and luxurious life, no intention of running a good family…. It’s better to give warning for entire in-laws family in the beginning itself, else they vl damn sure chuck u out from house & make u stand on the footpath…

    Take care!!

  20. #20
    Senior Member
    Join Date
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    Location
    Sheffield
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    730
    Hi ashes22,
    I think you need to consult a good matrimonial lawyer who specialises in divorce cases. It is clear from your posts that your wife and her family do not want to carry on the relations with you and your family. There is no trust on both sides. Only a good lawyer will explain the pros and cons of the case to you and how to proceed. Don't delay in seeking legal advice.
    Last edited by RubyRuby; 07-11-2012 at 10:03 PM.



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