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Thread: What is success rate of 2nd marriage in Delhi

  1. #41
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    [QUOTE=reema_1;265767]Dear CH,

    I read my husband's chat history yesterday , he chatted with the girl and was asking for her cell no. although that girl tried to ask him if he is married then he reverted yes but has some issues with me , then that girl asked him if he loves his wife then he reverted yes and told her that he is in depression and wants to talk to the girl over phone to explain his issue........Although he was continuesly asking for that girl's mob.no...

    And you know what now i have come to know that my cousin brother is chatting with my husband by fake id ,,,he disclosed me when i told my cousin about this ......my cousin wanted to know what is in my husband's mind...[/QUOTE]

    That's a twist in the tale...however, the silver lining is - your husband disclosed that he still loved you. You can ask a friend (or even this cousin of yours) to talk to your hubby anonymously, pretending to be the girl....there maybe something in his mind, and his voice should be heard too.

  2. #42
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    Thanks for your revert CH,

    This really seems a typical Hindi movie story but my cousin brother disclosed this chatting story late ,,,now i have to purchase a new SIM and will talk to my husband ........at least i should know what is running in his mind....

  3. #43
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    Thanks for your advice .....

  4. #44
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    Keep things in focus.

    [QUOTE=reema_1;265925]Thanks for your revert CH,

    This really seems a typical Hindi movie story but my cousin brother disclosed this chatting story late ,,,now i have to purchase a new SIM and will talk to my husband ........at least i should know what is running in his mind....[/QUOTE]

    Hi Reema, I have been following your issue and have advised you also but now I feel you are complicating your problem which is not going to help you at all. Your original problem was with your MIL and was money related for which lots of forumers advised you. You already know what is in your husbands mind - he is controlled by his mother.

    I think you need to explore your own mind and decide what you want out of your relationship with your husband. You appear reluctant to make a decision and are easily swayed by people around you, ur family, ur cousin, ur uncle or some of their friends etc. They did not live with your husband and in Laws nor will they in future. It's your experience with ur in laws and husband that should enable you to decide your future action. Nobody can make that decision for you.

    Finally I would advise you not to indulge in time wasting activities which can divert your attention from the serious issues that you must deal with.

  5. #45
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    Dear Ruby,

    Thanks for your advice but last time my husband told me that he does not need my money and told me that due to our parents we both are spoiling our life so i want to give another chance to him, at least i want to see him 1-2 months if he really got changed or not.And i have also realized this fact that he has taking instructions from his mother for the last 29 years so suddenly he can not totally change himself but he told me that he also has done mistakes and will not repeat in future..

  6. #46
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    Reema ji...
    I have been following your post for sometime and the suggestions given by various people. Although you are the best judge of the situation and the circumstances I have few observations and suggestions:

    Your husband and in laws seem to be money minded as they are asking you to share for household expenses etc. as if their house will go haywire if you do not contribute. This is purely between you and your husband on how you want to contribute to household expenses. Secondly, you have mentioned several times about the beating that you get from you husband. That is totally unaccepatble and beyond tolerance. There can be a case of domestic violence againt your husband. I know a case wherein the girl was bold enough to parts ways within 1 month of such instances. That was the right step, rather than staying with an abusive husband. The girl is happy now about her decision and does not regret the same at all.

    Since the time you pulled the strings and shown your desire to get divorce your husband may be feeling scared of the social stigma (although i donot feel it should be a social stigma if 2 people who are married later on decide to get separated as they do not gel together) and the hassles that divorce procedures may bring. This is the reason for his change in attitude and colours. Still he wants you to come back at his terms and conditions.

    I would suggest you to sit back and think about the past...were you also wrong somewhere?...is it possible to revive the relationship...do you actually love your husband or it is becasue you have to...will it be good if you divorce him...or you want to give some time to him...stay separate for few months or a year and see if you feel the desire to be back and whether he has desire to be back with you...as the old saying goes...if you love someone set it free, if it is yours it will come back if it doesn't it was never yours.

  7. #47
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    Thanks for your revert Fidodido,

    I am not saying that i did not make any mistake, i accept that my in laws were money minded but in the initial stage of our marriage my husband always used to say his mother not to put conditions on me as it was his duty but later when his mother stick to her decision and i also started hating my mother in law as she was interfering a lot and i used to tell my husband about my mother in laws money minded issues , and one day fight also my hubby took my side and told my father in law and mother in law that why they want share from my end in front of his parents but his father threatened him and told him to get out from his home , he wept bitterly ,as my hubby is earning less than me so his mother started blaming me for all issues and i was also not in favor of my mother in law , so my husband started taking my mother in laws favor ......my husband used to tell me that he loves me but can not leave his mother too,, but that time i also stopped talking to his mother as i hated her . My 100% problem is my mother in law as due to her influence only my husband beated me when she is not around my hubby always listen to me....and one more thing my husband can not hide anything from his mother ..he shares everything with his mother ...he does not understand that husband and wife should not involve third person .now i am waiting for another 1 month if my hubby calls me again then it is ok ..but i only want these 5 months distance make my hubby to understand how important to keep marital matter between husband and wife.

  8. #48
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    The quality of the relationship between son and the mother is important to lead a happy life. But in your case it is disgusting. Your husband acts as a motherís son when youíre in law in around him and acts different when he is with you. He has no confidence to face things and lead as a head of the family. I do agree he canít leave his mom as well as you. Please try to change his attitude as fast as possible.

    Now, for you it is the right moment to take step and decide the situation from outside. You can accomplish great result by being away from him for 5 months. Letís hope for best. By being constant and content you can reach success and your husbandís love.

    Good Luck!

  9. #49
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    its a very disappointing situation

  10. #50
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    Bangalore
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    This oactib

    [QUOTE=reema_1;266153]Thanks for your revert Fidodido,

    I am not saying that i did not make any mistake, i accept that my in laws were money minded but in the initial stage of our marriage my husband always used to say his mother not to put conditions on me as it was his duty but later when his mother stick to her decision and i also started hating my mother in law as she was interfering a lot and i used to tell my husband about my mother in laws money minded issues , and one day fight also my hubby took my side and told my father in law and mother in law that why they want share from my end in front of his parents but his father threatened him and told him to get out from his home , he wept bitterly ,as my hubby is earning less than me so his mother started blaming me for all issues and i was also not in favor of my mother in law , so my husband started taking my mother in laws favor ......my husband used to tell me that he loves me but can not leave his mother too,, but that time i also stopped talking to his mother as i hated her . My 100% problem is my mother in law as due to her influence only my husband beated me when she is not around my hubby always listen to me....and one more thing my husband can not hide anything from his mother ..he shares everything with his mother ...he does not understand that husband and wife should not involve third person .now i am waiting for another 1 month if my hubby calls me again then it is ok ..but i only want these 5 months distance make my hubby to understand how important to keep marital matter between husband and wife.[/QUOTE]

    I would suggest you and your hubby stay separate from your in laws (in a separate house) for 1 year and then see if they were the real influencers. This will also help you both in bonding well. if this seems too much in the beginning, please go to watch a good movie together...do this on a weekly basis for 2-3 weeks. See if you enjoy time together and then take decision about your next step.

  11. #51
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    Thank You all for supporting me to keep patience

    Thank You so much all my Sukh Dukh friends , now i am happy with my married life it has been 4 months now when i have come back to my hubby , and he has now started supporting me ........Thank you all for supporting me to keep patience ..........Special Thanks to Geethika, Confusedhusband and Fidodido Ö

  12. #52
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    344 oyetDet

    [QUOTE=reema_1;280955]Thank You so much all my Sukh Dukh friends , now i am happy with my married life it has been 4 months now when i have come back to my hubby , and he has now started supporting me ........Thank you all for supporting me to keep patience ..........Special Thanks to Geethika, Confusedhusband and Fidodido Ö[/QUOTE]

    Good to know that things have changed for the positive, Reema! Have a great life ahead!

  13. #53
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    Good to know things have changed for the better, Reema. Wish you a great life ahead.

  14. #54
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    Smile

    Thanks..CH

    [QUOTE=confusedhusband;286059]Good to know things have changed for the better, Reema. Wish you a great life ahead.[/QUOTE]



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