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Thread: How to resolve disputes easily?

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    delhi
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    20

    How to resolve disputes easily?

    I and my boy friend are going through a bad phase. These days we used to shout on each other on useless things. I am noticing change in his behaviour. When I want to ask, he don't not say anything. He just wants to keep quite and be silent. I want him to share his problems if any but he donít say anything and wants to be alone. He wants to talk less as before we used to keep in touch through out the day by phones, msgs and chats. But now the whole day gets spend and we have no conversations at all. I asked him whether he get a new girl or he has any other problem. He starts blaming me that I have found someone, I have changed and so on. I donít know where I am going wrong. Only I initiate the talks. Only I used to call him. What he wants from me I don't know. Sometimes when he blames me for no reason I lost my patience and start shouting on him. He is taking me for granted. I love him so much and want him to be back. I miss our old times a lot when we spent so much sweet time together.

    Please let me know how to end the disputes? I am just fed up of everything. I talked to him several times to have a conversation and resolve out these problems. But he says only you have problems not me. Then why his behave is so changed. Is he depressed of anything? I tried so much to ask but I am failed. One more thing I have noticed in him is that he used to lie a lot and I catch him every time. I don't know why I am still mad for him? We have planned to get marry, I donít know why he feels so insecurity for me. We did a lot for each other. We convince our parents and crossed so much barriers. But these days are going bad to worst. I donít know how will I spend my whole life to a person who don't even want to resolves the problems, don't even want to talk, who only blames me of no reason. But still I love him.

    His behave is going to be so irritating. He was not like that. We had spend a beautiful time together. I don't know why he is changed? I want him back. How?



  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    200

    Thumbs up There is no perfect relationship.

    There is no perfect relationship. Ask people who have been married 20 yrs, how many times they have fought and got back together. Relationship is about working on each others weakness, learning to give space in relationship. You cannot force or emotionally blackmail to marry someone. He has to feel like he want to marry you. You both should be happy.
    At this point take it slow. Keep low expectations. Whenever there are fights, try to take a backseat. Give him his time and space in relationship. Lighten up the relationship and romance by going to movie, or doing something together which you always do. Getting bored and small fights are very normal in any relationship.
    Goodluck!

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    delhi
    Posts
    20

    Thanks

    Thank you so much for helping me.

    [QUOTE=prakash1234;280699]There is no perfect relationship. Ask people who have been married 20 yrs, how many times they have fought and got back together. Relationship is about working on each others weakness, learning to give space in relationship. You cannot force or emotionally blackmail to marry someone. He has to feel like he want to marry you. You both should be happy.
    At this point take it slow. Keep low expectations. Whenever there are fights, try to take a backseat. Give him his time and space in relationship. Lighten up the relationship and romance by going to movie, or doing something together which you always do. Getting bored and small fights are very normal in any relationship.
    Goodluck![/QUOTE]

  4. #4
    Sit and speak with him, spill down all your feelings, be honest and tear out! 99.9 percent he will realize his mistakes and return back to you as he was before.

    I request you to not be too harsh for his current behavior, coz u exactly donít know what is his problem, if it is something related to health or family issues then I guess u will be asked to face penalty in future, so move situation serenely!

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    141
    Hi Sawti!!!
    There is no love without fights.. Every lovers fight with each other.. Sometimes with reason and many a times with no reasons.. And the fight should be healthy.. One should not hurt the others heart deeply.. This the couples or the lovers should keep in their mind.. Today if you have fought with each other, then the next day itself you should try to resolve it.. You should not carry such silly matters in the future.. You should not taunt by saying mistakes.. Take care of your relationship.. Once broken relations canít be attached. So I would suggest you to talk to your guy and solve it as early as possible.. And come to conclusion that you both wonít fight for any stupid reasons instead you will talk to each other and solve it politely..
    All the very best Swati..

  6. #6
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    delhi
    Posts
    20

    Thanks

    Thanks Pragati.

    I tried to solve these problems several times. I told him to discuss and resolve out the problems. But he went so self centred and reserved that I am nothing for him to ask anything. I have no rights to ask anything only he can rule over me.

    For the sake of relationship, today I said ďsorryĒ to him without having any mistake, without having any reason. We had no conversations for last 4 days. It was now unbearable for me to handle. I don't know it is love or anything else, I am feeling that I have no self respect at all? I have no identity at all. After saying sorry, He is now happy but I am feeling guilty and down.

    He is going to be dominating and stubborn day by day. I don't know what is my limit to handle. I know he is not doing right to me but still I am so defensive towards my relationship. Sometimes I want to get rid of him but not being able too. I love him madly.

    Please help me, how can I change his behave? How to handle his over possessiveness, stubborn and dominating nature.



    [QUOTE=Pragati Rane;280921]Hi Sawti!!!
    There is no love without fights.. Every lovers fight with each other.. Sometimes with reason and many a times with no reasons.. And the fight should be healthy.. One should not hurt the others heart deeply.. This the couples or the lovers should keep in their mind.. Today if you have fought with each other, then the next day itself you should try to resolve it.. You should not carry such silly matters in the future.. You should not taunt by saying mistakes.. Take care of your relationship.. Once broken relations canít be attached. So I would suggest you to talk to your guy and solve it as early as possible.. And come to conclusion that you both wonít fight for any stupid reasons instead you will talk to each other and solve it politely..
    All the very best Swati..[/QUOTE]

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    141
    Hi Swati..
    There is nothing to worry about... He will become mature.. He will become responsible.. Even If you feel that he is not doing good to you then politely tell him.. I can understand that there is a limit for patience too.. But what to do? Sacrifice and adjustment are another name for LOVE.. If you love a person accept him however they are and whatever they are.. They will understand your love one day.. One thing I want to tell you that no one can shake true love.. It will remain till the last breathe.. Sache pyar ka khatam ka ending kabhi sad nahi hota hai.. True love can make impossible possible.. So your love can change him .. It can bring kindness in him.. Now everything depends on you.. Be mature and responsible.. Try to change him with your love..



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