Thread: Please solve my love problem
I am in love with a girl. We are intercast. her parents were not ready for the marriage. So we decided to run from home and get married. We got married on 8th september and then got our marriage registered. After this her parents requested Us that they are now ready to accept the marriage but please come back home for saving there reputation. We did that and they came to my home on 12th september and did the engagement formalities and Marriage date was fixed on November 9th.
But now her parents are giving her warnings that if she come with me they will sucide . So the girl is scared now. and i cant go to her home to take her with me as she is in emotional pressure that her parents will die.
Please help me waht i can do...
well, i don't really know whether sukh dukh is the right place to ask questions like this. hmmm... because i have never experienced anything like this i wont be really much help but i can tell you that i don't think many people from sukh dukh can help either. Sukh Dukh is great and all but for your situation, i think that it is you that will have to make the choice at the end of the day, not us.
Hope that helps
I would accept what al says... but at the same time if you plan to ask what I would do.. then
"I would let the situation stay till things cool down a bit... let their parents rethink and retake their decision ... as I would be legally married so at any time if they try to get her married I can stop it... their parents need their time to understand and accept .. till then I would expect both me and my GF to stand on our marriage ... I would just wait, let them realise they have no way out.. then they would finally force themselves to accept. Its very much important for both of you to support each other and face this crisis"
if things take a diff turn you can post again on this group .. may be then some one might have a better idea to help you out... B O Luck (Y) ;-)
I don't know if I am right but this is what I would do... finally its you who has to decide... ;-)
i dont agree wid Al fresco.. i thnk sukh dukh name itself suggest tht ny prob or a happiness one can share, discuss or help out here..
n this yr serious prob so u can right it here..
by the way i would suggest u tht wait till the situation is settled down..
i thnk thy r just threatend u guys.. bt b wid eachother..
thy cant do nything as u r legaly married..
so i thnk u shud nt worry n take it easy.. m sure her parents will agree upon u..
Best of luck...
Well its great that people share their problems with sukh dukh but i am not too sure whether anyone will be able advice rajmehra on this specific problem because i don't think anyone here has such an experience before and because of the that we cant really help.
Its great that rajmehra has shared her experiences on sukh dukh but most people here cant really be off help.
I think its up to rajmehra to decide what she has to do in this situation.
I am not trying to insult Sukh dukh in anyway, i am just trying to help.
Well u go and try to convence them that u r always going to keep their daughter happy. She will not face any problem in future. If u really love her than God will also help u.
Hi Raj ,
see the best part of your case that you have already registered your marriage , so you can alwas take Help from the LAW(directly or indirectly ) and remeber you have to act bold as if her parent wanted to commit sucide than they would have done it on the day their daughter ran away with you . So they are actually trying to get you emotionaly blackmail nothing else .
Sometimes we have to be Bold to get the Gold(thts your Love) .
All the best .......
Thanks for your gentle advice friends..
Her parents will never be agree as of their narrow mentality. so i thought one solution that if after some time that girl can leave her home and come to me. then they will not do anything as they cant do legally. please guide if I am Incorrect
See , i told you tht the best part is tht you r legal , so you can be Bold and get her back there is no need of waiting so that she returns on her own ............this not a Yash Raj moive and you are not SRK , so plz fight for your Love get her back ....
Somtimes you have to Be Bold to get Gold.....
All the answers are sensible but honestly speaking, I fully agree with Alfresco & found his answer is the most sensible answer. When you don't have first hand experience then the problem you read appears very straightforward & hence we think solution is simple & obvious, but life is not that simple. There are plenty of permutation & combination of possibilities exist that we can't think of. We assume so many things which are not necessarily true.
I have helped one intercaste marriage. we helped them until they register their marriage & we thought everything is OK because everything is legal. The parent lured the daughter saying that they will remarry them. Once she went home, they forced her to such an extent that the girl surrendered to her parent & ended up doing what they wanted her to do. She filed petition for divorce & eventually they were divorced. You can't be complacent just because you have registered your marriage. Please don't underestimate her parent. They can even harm your wife. I don't know how much your wife is mentally tough but if you don't want to take chances then don't waste any more time. just convince your wife that no one will make any suicide. As some one has rightly pointed out that if they were to committ suicide then they would have done that by now. You have to treat this as an emergency. Act immediately. Get her back. Again some one has rightly advised that you need to take some bold steps. You already have taken one bold step. You can work on prose & cones, depending on your situation, by telling her parent that your wife is pregnant & needs to marry ASAP.
read all the postings.
anybody have some experience in life?
have u felt the social stress at any point of time for anything in life?
u people(mostly) sof.prof. think of life as algorithams and try to solve everything in life with ur brain. but life is made up of many things, which u people dont understand.
just think of the truama experienced by the girl,s family in their relatives circle.
does tha girl or anybody has the right to give them that.
let their parents talk seriously to come out of the situation.
hey Yagna ,
you are correct that truama Girl must be facing is which we are not talking about , but what we are doing is that
we are trying to show them a way , walking on which is a different task which wil be done by them
And sometimes we have to be Bold to get Gold.......
#1 What I think is you should talk more to her parents, so that they know you better and you know them more Understand what basic problem they are facing(I mean Some Relative, their friend etc talk bad about you type of problems) and if it is there solve that...... Actually some relations are like water they flow where you give them slope.
#2 Ask her parents relatives to talk for you. (this should surely work)
#3 Attack is the best form of defence... tell them you both will commit suside if they blackmail you .
hey hi...buddy...if she is in true pressure about her family...so i think she will not leave her family for you...bcoz she is a gal & we are a boy...we can die for someone...but they kill someone for themselves...hey as u told abt ur marrital status...iu will prefer u to b calm & try to get in touch with her parents with a brave attitude ...dnt worry we all are indians & no barin of religious ...so go a head m we all r there wid u ...& best of luck (Y)
Please, i dont think that anyone here has enough experience to make such a life turning decision for ITP. So ITP go make ur own choices
This is very ackward position and you have to be very careful. Keep in touch with their parents and do whatever good things you can do for her family.
When you want a girl in your life, you love her and you will make her to love you. Like that you have to really love her parents also and you have to show that you are the best life partner for her.
You can achieve it by the way you LOVE.
LOVE IS GREAT IN THE WORLD AND NO ONE CAN DESTROY IT.
I am ABHILAB from indore…
I guess this mail would seem a bit long….so is my problem….
I don’t know how much it wud help cz I believe dat u know best for urself when u r in trouble as u know ur problems well…
I was in love with a girl…sweet, cutie, n always smiling….
She loved me 2….
V were 2gether for 1n half yrs….studied 2gether,got in same colg n same branch in 2nd best colg of M.P…was my happiest day….
Everything was very sweet b/w us….
Then don’t know after entering in colg what changed I started getting feeling of insecurity for her…n 2 much, so I kept bounding her….and at times I cudnt understand her even…I was wrong….this kept going, but v had good times 2….
I have known my best frnds G.Fs….so, for girls a state comes when they start feeling guilty n dat she is being unfaithful 2 her parents….so was wih her 2…n his feeling was strong bcoz her parents knew me dat v had an affair….they said that m not fit for her, m short heighted….den her parents came 2 knew dat v were in same colg….she is sweet, even after that she loved me not caring much about her parents….
Times I hurted her that feeling of unfaithfulness got stronger….n then after a yr she started ignoring me(it was hard for her 2 cz she knew I cannot live without her)….gradually things got bad, I showed my anger n her….she was hurt n she left me….
I cannot live without her, this all happened 2 months ago….my life is all about her….i want her back…m ready 2 do anything….its hard for me 2 live like dis daily….
Plz can ne1 help me ??
If not then plz pray for me….
I’ll live on .99% chances of getting her back coz v’ll b in same colg n same class for 2 more yrs…but she is very determined….i cudnt shake her much….only thing I was left with was feelings and memories….
Help me plz….
Sorry for not righting this in qualitative way…..
Reply me neway....i need somebody who’d at least say something 2 me….
My id [email]email@example.com[/email], [email]firstname.lastname@example.org[/email],
My number 91-9009564356 (country-india,state-M.P.,city-indore)
Pls do reply….(even if u cannot help)/(if possible repy me by mail)
abhilab,its sad. Its not clear, at some places you didnt mentioned it clearly. But thats not the problem. I got from your post that you still love her very much right? She went away from you that is also true.
abhi, you know if you bind some one or restrict someone very much the person will surly go away. Let your love be free, if its your it will come to you. Its true. Never try to bind someone. By doing this you are not going to get the person but you will surly loss the person. So if possible apologize her. Tell her that it was your fault and you will never repeat it.
A general advice I wish to give all here is; Tolerance & understanding is two obligatory characters required for healthy relationship, if you drop it once; you will lose everything in bond….. So I request all couples to perceive this feature for long lasting happy life….