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Thread: our life is ruined after marriage

  1. #21
    Try to give some more time.

  2. #22
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    Cool

    no dont give time .. that will become ur weakness.. already u gave lot of time ..and patiently following ur bad wife .. shame on india country for producing bichy girls ..

    enuf is enuf .. be urself now and take own decisions ..and tell i want traditional indian girl .. not some bich

    think whats correct ... and do what makes you happy .. dont follow bad girls .. she will come back to you when her parents will treat her like western bich ..

  3. #23
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    Angry

    invisible u r correct...we shouldn't give chance..
    how can they expect me to respect her family when they don't respect my family..
    am I ATM machine who will generating money and fulfilling all her wishes even after asking for sometime to make myself financial stable...when they can't do any household works, then why should the person separate themselves..

    When she can't cook for single person and say that I can't do this, I can't do that...as i m tired, too stressed..doesn't this look odd.. i want mixer, i want TV, u pls get some thing today and if its go on daily basis, doesn't it irritate...
    Her father got her fridge, she said its a gift..I had told her i will get bigger one which is worth of 60K..but now she said its dowry and they had given to me..i asked her to return to her father but she isn't listening..
    is she money-minded or me money-minded???

    she says U listen to ur parents, u r fit for nothing, u can't take me to some place....does this lady deserves chance..

    others, u asked me to take and give some time to her so both understand..but if the person is irritating daily morning, night doesn't i feel sick of this...i feel she is one of the most irritating person on this earth..u should do like my bro-in-law, u should do these things like my relative..my father is so old but he does all the work, why can't u...isn't irritating...

    anyone has idea which can help me to give divorce from her smoothly...I am done with this lady.

  4. #24
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    Never leave your parents .. let her do suicide or divorce ..but dont leave your parents at any cost. You have right to look after your parents and they depend on you.

    Also throw her fridge out of house ..and say i dont want dowry stigma on my name. If she want .. she can sell her fridge and keep the money in her account.

    And give warning "dont tell about your family side to me .. you are now part of my family .. you shud supoort here"

    If she is requesting to buy new tv , mixer .. all bad girls ask it .. tell you will fulfill later and dont ask 1 more time.

    All we can say is you are victim of a bad girl who likes to seperate boy from him family and then treat you like puppet.

    If you have developed some love for her .. then wait 6motnhs before coming to divorce decision.
    If you have no love .. then do divorce in 1month and find a new poor girl who treat you correctly. Dont ever marry a job girl or who have high desires.

  5. #25
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    Whenever she irritates u.. give this warning ..Dabang aadmi se dabangiya karogi tho kahi ka nahi rahogi

  6. #26
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    Hey All,

    If there is no understandings in between both the families then it will be a big mess in both's life, Guys parents will treat the girl as a slave.. she will feel unsecured.. I really cant understand why this ego is and this kind of attitude is still continuing.. Please share your thought how we can stop this kind of mess in married life...

  7. #27
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    ruchi mehta...no parents ego...its an ego from girls family as well..costs life...

    when guy have a house which is worth of crores and earning money..why his parents would treat girl as slave when they have everything at home..we dont ask her to work for us...we ask her help urself to someextent when servant is not around and if u think its wrong..then its wrong....When I am ready to help her for master degree, who would we behind her money..

    I never see anyone as object..give respect and take respect is my policy and thats what my parents have taught me whole life..Her parents can come to my new house but my parents aren't allowed..is this right???

    Before u say everything, understand first that i am not trying to put her down..i was and am asking to give time so she lives like queen and peacefully... when girls torture guys, obviously guys will throw them out...

    [QUOTE=Ruchi Mehta;290240]Hey All,

    If there is no understandings in between both the families then it will be a big mess in both's life, Guys parents will treat the girl as a slave.. she will feel unsecured.. I really cant understand why this ego is and this kind of attitude is still continuing.. Please share your thought how we can stop this kind of mess in married life...[/QUOTE]

  8. #28
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    Girls parents ego is the problem here.

    They should say sorry in public and it should be covered in news channels ..so that other girls parents will change their ego mindset.

    After saying sorry .. we are sure boys parents will be good towards all.

    Live Happy.. dont be puppet of ego girls.
    Hole is Gole.

    Also try to invite girl parents to stay in your house .. and all live under one hut. That will b best for you.

  9. #29
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    and never fear ..dont be weak .. keep the fear in girls parents ..

    go to girls mom .. and tell .. teri area me tere hi saamne tere hi aadmi ko divorce dunga .. mujhe kisika dar nahi


    when girl cant cook .. she is openly disagreeing marriage agreement .. every religion says girl must cook and take care of her house. That must be her primary duty . IF she cant do it then you will get divorce easily as she is voilating primary duty of her.

  10. #30
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    Same boat

    Hi i am also in same situation what can be done best in these situation when the girl is not returning back to matrimonial home or even ready to come separate...

  11. #31
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    We indian boys are emotional fools! This is what has held us back!

    Love/marriage under compulsion? I'd rather be an enemy! At least I can hate happily

    Just get test tube babies or remain bachelor ..be happy and hate girls more than what they hate about boys.

    Wake up boys

    in 21st century love is not materialistic! face the mirror and look in to your own eyes

    every girl loves money not other human not even her kids.

  12. #32
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    few things i have understood from ur posting:

    1) Not a happy marital beginning..
    2) financial indifference
    3) expectation from boys parents that DIL should cook, feed, clean etc.. here they forget now a days parents are raising their girl child same as boy child.. if boy can do it u dnt expect him or point finger but when girl dnt its a sin, crime call it what ever..
    4) if she does not know cooking give her time understand her and slowly teach her how to cook.. you already know she is from a rich family and can expect that these things are new to her..
    5) when a relation is about to form between two unknown families people should give time to understand which is lacking here..
    6) boys parents asked her to get out of their house.. its so humiliating, embarrassing, insulting and hurting.. she is a new person in ur life n family how can some one take her for granted...
    7) every women will have some dreams towards her life and H. and try to fulfill them after marriage.. as she has come from rich family she does not know financial problems coz she is never aware of them.. its a new thing for her..we can not blame her too its just how she was brought up.. n she is new to financial adjustments..she thinks they are basic.. its not her bad too..neither ur bad.. ur helpless with ur financial pressure..
    8) she lost her confidence due to these disturbances in her life.. she is not living a life which she always dreamed about so she is upset and moods and swinging.. someone has to adjust..
    9) i do not recommend you to leave you parents.. as u love your wife (i see it in ur post)and want to be with her..just take her to a nice place away from families and spend some good quality of time. though you can not afford it take a loan and go coz this is ur life once missed it will never be the same..
    till date u did not spend time for urself this might help you to forget family etc etc and just al by urself will make u guys come close and forget what happened between u..
    once u come to a understand nothing in this world can come in between u folks.

    10) i do not recommend a divorce give ur best shot till last min.. once u come back from a romantic vacation stay separate from ur families for sometime and live separately.. help ur parents financially knowingly or unknowingly to ur wife(up to u).
    11) once everything get settled.. parents will forget looking u guys happy.. mean time ur family understand hers and her family understand u..
    12) coming to her MD can u really afford it from ur paycheck? did u agree to make her MD after wedding with ur money? if u have promised and can not move her education just think about it coz education shd not create another issue.
    13) we can say forget past but its not that easy when we face it.. but for relations we have to forgive somethings..
    14) last word, divorce is not solutions for all..

    neither women not Men are bad its just situation that are bad.. dont bring hatred towards one gender just coz u have face prob frm a person .. we need both for a balanced world...

    All d best..

  13. #33
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    Angry my in-laws s..ks

    hello kavya.

    To answer you:

    1)you mentioned that she needs time to learn cooking, I agree but getting up at late in the morning and not helping her husband/in-laws in anyways. and saying that she is not slave and she can't do it..if u r princess then she should have married the prince..not a person who want to live happily..

    2) my parents didn't ask her to get out of the house..if she thinks like that, its not our fault...
    Her parents used to never come to my place after my marriage, after I shifted to new house, they come regularly..what does this mean? how would be I feeling...also my MIL had told to one of my relatives that she will split my family..initially we thought it as hoax..but now i m realizing it..

    3) ok, I will agree with you in financial management. does that mean you get something at less cost initial and then later on crib saying we will replace this one and get new one immediately..i have never seen such person in my life..

    4) i have given up everything whenever she gets angry ...i m the one who lost everything including my parent's, friends and relatives love..also my mental peace...only thing she hasn't seen in me is my temper and if it comes out, I will never ever talk to her and thats the only thing i will do..

    5) you said "i do not recommend you to leave you parents.. as u love your wife (i see it in ur post)and want to be with her..just take her to a nice place away from families and spend some good quality of time. though you can not afford it take a loan and go coz this is ur life once missed it will never be the same.."

    its nice to hear the above but when she says "why don't u buy house where my parents stay and also i have to travel a lot if we are here" ..doesn't this mean selfishness??, once you miss ur parents, you will never get them back as well...think of it, even i m not wrong...she also need to think of it..

    6) i m helping financially and emotionally my parents and will do it in future as well ..no one can stop me from doing that..if bad situation arises...everyone will be torn apart.

    7) I had told her and her parents..let her study..but never said i will pay..leave about the payment, let say i will get loan and pay..will she do her MD? a person who doesn't want to study or want to be pushed daily to reach her goal..

    8) me and my parents aren't the one who are angry..her mom and she are angry..one of her relatives invited for function, my wife told me that she will feel awkward and asked me to somehow avoid it..and my parents had to attend some other function and even i asked them same, so they didn't come..later only her relative told me that my Mother in law (MIL) mentioned to them that if my parents attend that they will not attend..is my MIL doing right things? and trying to separate me...

    9) when i was hospitalized for a week due to fever, my MIL said some bad things to the strangers who told the same to my mother..and my mother felt bad..leave MIL, damn her i don't care about her..she lost all the respect from me and she is of no worth..and will never forgive her.
    my wife started crying in the hospital..intially i thought she is crying coz i was hospitalized later only i came to know that she didn't like my parents or my sister coming to see me and the whole night she irritated me..will u do the same for ur spouse when he is hospitalized? i felt why didn't i die there itself...

    if at all my parents would have said come back..i would have gone back within a minute, leaving her..both of us would have suffered, but i wouldn't have cared after going through this..instead they told both of u live happily and make sure that u don't fight..also my parents never asked me to stay in the same area where they stay and never imposed any restrictions like her family..u should get this, get that..stay here, stay there...call them, wish them..

  14. #34
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    no worries

    Have you ever think of trying Counseling? that might work out

  15. #35

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    Born a MAN, be a MAN!

    Ripme,
    I have largely read yr posts and not the advice u have been given.
    Hear this one:

    For a month, laugh-seduce-love and simply refuse to get angry. Laugh or smile even if u don't feel like it. Whenever she asks for material things, tell her - baby, all you really need is romance and love.
    If she says no, dress up well and disappear for a couple of hours out of the house.
    If she continues the same way after a month of only love-no anger, CALMLY QUIT.
    Ne'er turn back to even look at her, the 2nd time. You can then rest assured that she only wanted an MD out of yr pocket.

    Easier said than done. But steel yourself. And before they file a dowry case .... you file a plea in the court for declaring the marriage null and void on the basis of non-consummation.

    And from here on, remember, there is fish and there is fish in the sea ...



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