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Thread: how to make happy???

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Ahmedabad
    Posts
    1
    My son is 17. I wish to see him always happy.But can't control anger when he doesn't perform well in exams.He is in 12th & will b having exams in march .He is a science student



  2. #2

    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Dubai
    Posts
    181
    Dear,
    It always happens with all parents. Actually every child gets confused in this age about his career. You shud not scold him if he doesn't perform well. In this circumstances, You just need to give him a counselling, u shud ask him some question abt his career like:

    Wht is his aim?
    Wht do he want to become in his life?
    Why does he want to become dat?
    Whn he tells u abt his ambition then u'll tell him how can he achieve his goals,
    wht shud be d initial steps to achieve it,
    show him u r always wid him and never scold.
    Just remember if u treat him as his parent he'll seldom tell u anything, so u shud become his friend.
    Remember u might have also faced this problem in ur life when u were a student, so do it positively.
    I hope u will get me in clearly.

    Best of luck 4 u and ur child's future.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    lucknow
    Posts
    2,295
    Simantini...

    Calm down and don't put pressure on your kid.. It will only drive them away from studies.. If you want him to do well motivate him encourage him but anger will not take you anywhere...

    Expectations also should be realistic.. Excellence in everything is not possible... Be more understanding and bond with him better..

    Appreiate him when he does well and he'll definitely keep doing it..

    Cheers

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    bombay
    Posts
    298
    hi....

    i'll like to add tht at this age....we have already a pressure to face the world for the first time...
    i remember my time....wen i used to think tht after 12th..there is no 13th class wich we get promoted to..in school..
    ...n whether i wud get into engg...whether i wud b able to do gud in board exams...n all sorts of pressure...

    best is understand ur child's basic problem,ask him abt wt is cuming in his way ,y is not studying...concentration prob,stress...or mayb b sumthing else..
    try solving it by talks...n tell him the prons n cons of not studying,scolding wont b of much help so sit with him and talk out.....,imp ...motivate him to study by showing real examples doing engg .... doctors n other persons within friends n family who hav done well in science field...this really helps...motivate him ...bt never compare...n most imp keep urself calm...this will help u n ur child dealing better with his problem..

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Bangalore
    Posts
    4,405
    simantini,

    Your fear is valid at this age... But think like u are at his age...

    When I was in school my mom always shouted about why you don't study and always roam here and thr... But when My result came she was shocked... In college too I was in Hostel and she always told me "Beta ye school nahi hai jahan tu humesha bolti thi ki mujhe sab aata hai aur kabhi padhai nahi karti fir bhi pass ho jati thi; ye college hai aur wahan pe achche se padhegi tabhi pass hogi.." but humesha mera result dekhke shock hoti thi...

    Aaj mera chota bhai usi condition me hai aur mai Bangalore se use baar baar ph karke wahi baatein bolti hoon jo mummy mujhe bolti thi...

    But usse kya fark padhta hai... Bachcha tabhi padhai karta hai jab uska man hota hai... Baki u can shout at him anytime u want but it will make him go apart from u and do whatever he wants without ur knowledge...

    So calm down and think how can u make him Happy and Proud at u so that he will do everything for u...
    Just by shouting and being angry he will never listen..

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    bangalore
    Posts
    34
    everyone of us will have something unique in us. Everyone is good at something and at the same time, everyone cannot be good at everything. Let your son decide what he wants to become, make him aware of the challenges that will be faced due to his decision, inspire him to work towards achieving his dreams

    I have seen many children loosing their way and turning into simply-nothings just because they were passionate about one thing while they were forced to do another. Think about an exceptionally artistic, highly skilled child who makes wonderful paintings. If his parents decide to put him into engineering/medical, his career is half ruined because the love for his painting, his passion is bottled up inside and it causes frustration at later stages when he too enters into his mid-life-crisis



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