im a 19 year old girl blonging to a aurthodox family,i met a guy on a chat 2 years back on 2nd march 2007,we exchanged our numbers and friendship gradually turned to b love ,that boy proposed me 6 days after we started chatting,this guy lives in a different place that is really far from me where he is doing his engineering,im also a student,i took almost 2 months to think well and accepted his proposal,from our first chatting itself i told him that im not in to the timepass buisness and requires serious relationship,he said that he was seriously in to me,we saw each other for the first time on cam than,than time just went on but i was always loyal to him even though i was far away from him bcoz i had lot of respect for him and my love,within the first year it was really rossy and we shared lots of things abt our lives,during this time he told me that his first love was a girl from his school,he was madly in love with her but they never went along and finally after schooling they were seperated and dint met eachother since than,i took it as his past ,he also said that he slept with a girl already,i even accepted that, than time went on and after an year and 4 months he said that he is coming to meet me,I was overjoyed bcoz it was dream come true as I was going to meet my love after such long time,he came on 23rd july 2008,
that day I ruined my life ,I don’t knowingly or unknowingly but I did,I met him in his hotel ,we spended the day together and things started getting wrong and he started  asking me for having sex,I refused him a lot at first but he started pleading continuously,and said that he was still a virgin and when I asked him about all that he said he said that he said all that to know how much I accept him,I trusted him ,trusted everything he said and slept with him,I lost my virginity to him,he promised me of marrieage ,I made a fool of myself,after 4 days he left the place and went to where he belong,and once he went there things changed,he started being rude to me,I bcame pregnant and when I told him that he said that we both were not eligible enough to take care of a kid,so better get it aborted I did what he said to me,bcoz I was not left with anyother option even if wanted to keep the child, I couldn’t,
he was getting more rude everyday,after a month he told me that the girl he once loved came to him and said that she is in love with him,I asked him wether he told her about me,he said he dint and he don’t want to becoz he don’t wana loose her friendship,I couldn’t take it and cried a lot,on my force he accepted to tell her but after that he started being really very rude and almost started avoiding me ,and when ever I called him he started shouting on me, I couldn’t take it and knew that I ruined myself and fooled so much that now I cant even have the man I love any more,I decided to end up myself and tried to do so, im the only child to my parents ,but I did such a great mistake that dint have the guts to face them anymore and realizing what a great mistake I did I tried suiscide but I was saved,and when he came to know also he dint mind much,
finally I felt that I cant battle anymore so I just called him and said that I cant hold on anymore with such a relationship where everyday im fighting with the one who I love the most,and said that if he really loved me he would understand and if he dint love me truly than he whatever he feels like he can do,later after 2 days he called me apologizing for all that,
he said that the girl is just a good friend of him asnd he truly loves me ,I trusted him again ,became a fool again,things got calmed as I thought my love is with me but later I came to know he slept with another girl  who he met in a disco when I asked him about it at first he accepted and when he saw that I was about to cry he said he dint and was just joking,
I trusted him again,during the entire relationship he wounded me many times and I became a fool back of a man who did all the shit in this world and always tried  to fool me,he wounded me lot of times emotionally and again used to say sorry ,
On december12th 2008,he asked me will u marry me !i accepted offcourse for I felt that tmy efforts are working out finally,from that day he started being very loving
It was almost a dream come true he changed a lot almost beautifully taking care of me,but the tensions I face dpreviously throwed me in to a dreadful damage of 2 nerves in my brain and now im often suffering from nose bleeding because of that,he started being very caring towards me , I felt nice about that and dint feel bad for being sick.even though it was all because of him,
Yesterday he told me about his past completely that he not only slept with lots of girls not only before our relationship but even after that ,and when he slept with me he was not a virgin than
I felt really wounded bcoz I accepted everything in him but unnecessarily he was lying to me just to make me sleep with him,and the girl from the disco,he also had sex with her even after being in a commitment with me ,he cheated on me,but he is saying that he did this before he proposed me for marrieage and since he proposed me he never did that and never ever thought about it but now im not able to trust him any more ,I said I love him still but seriously I don’t think I love him any more but cant walk out of this relation ship as I ruined my self enough ,will the rest of my life will be a compromise, or is he true about what he is saying?i don’t know and don’t understand even,
I want my love to survive,I wana be happy,but I cant think of another man in my life because I cant rust anyone ever,I started hating things around me,
I lost my respect,my pride,my virginity,my happiness,my love ,my health everything what else is left in my life I don’t know what to do with my life ,what to do with my love

Pls suggest me what to do