Before taking any such step think about your daughters future also. Try to contact your husbands parents and try to discuss the problem. Please wait and see if your husband realizes his mistake and returns. In cant but position do what you think is best for both you and your daughter.

Hi Chintu,

I am sorry to hear about your current situation. Its rather unfortunate these sort of things happen to Good People. Guys like your husband are just animals and sex maniacs. Having a nice wife and a lovely daughter who is just 7 years, what more does he require ? I feel like thrashing him black and blue. If i have this emotional outburst, I can very well understand your frame of mind.

Having said the above, I just want to ask you a few questions. After he moved out of the house, did you ever try to patch up with him. How long since you both are separated ? Is he living with the other woman ? Do you know the back ground of that woman ? is she single, or married , working with him ?

While I understand your heartburns and your determination to punish him, do you think the situation has gone up to that stage where you want to totally separate from him ? The reason being, your daughter is just 7 , she would need her father's love and affection as she grows up. Usually daughters are attached to their dads and it would be sad if she misses this period.

I am just thinking of various options, is there any way, you can recncile with your husband by forgiving him and give him a chance to come back to you. Men are by nature egoistic and in situations like this, women have to be very careful. and as you mentioned you need support morally and financially.

Please give it a thought, and see if your husband would get back to you atleast for the sake of your daughter, if not for you. The extra marital situation can some how be handled if he comes back to you.

Think it over and come back. I shall Pray for you happiness.

Sanjay



[quote=Chintu123]Hi,

I have been married for 8 years. Since three years my husband is having an extra marital affair and which I came to know lately. After I came to know about his affair I asked him about it and he started to to tell lie lately he has moved out of the house. I have a daughter who is 7 years. I am living with my mother and daughter I have no other person who can support me at this stage.

Can I file a case against my husband. Ofcourse I can apply for a divorce, but i want to punish him for what he has done to me and my daughter. PLease suggest how I can go about this.

Thanks[/quote]

Mr. Sanjay,

As you said I told him that I will forgive for whatever he has done to me and my daughter. But he is so stubborn not ready to listen to anyone except that lady.

Hi Chintu,

Have you ever tried talking to that lady ? do you know which city she resides ? if your husband just goes out of town for a few days,  what makes him stay away for the rest of the time.

In case you are seeking divorce on the grounds of extra marital affair, you should have sufficient evidence to produce in the family court.  As Rada mentioned it would be hard to recocile, but then, we have only one life and as uch as possible we should try to salvage it from total disaster. however if your mind wont accept him back, then its a different story.

From what you said, i dont think there is any emotional attachment between your husband and that lady. Its only physical pleasure that they are seeking. Its not guaranteed that that the lady might enteratin your husband for ever. Just be patient and trust in god.

Atleast, he comes home on sundays to be with your daughter, it is a good sign, that he is totally not cut off. Dont talk about that lady or the affair to your husband for the time being. If you still want a reunion with your husband, try to behave normally as before and try to woo him with your love and affection. Who knows, he might have a change of heart and might come back to you.

Sanjay


[quote=Chintu123]Mr. Sanjay,

As you said I told him that I will forgive for whatever he has done to me and my daughter. But he is so stubborn not ready to listen to anyone except that lady.[/quote]

Which part of India does that Lady reside ?

Sanjay


[quote=Chintu123]Yes I tried to talk to that lady. She is not ready to listen to me. She says I should work on with my husband. But the problem is she will not allow him to talk to me. If she comes to know that I am or he is in our house she keeps messaging him. And also when he was with me she use to keep him occupied so that he will not give any attention to me or to my daughter.[/quote]

Ok Chintu.

If you have yahoo messanger or google talk come on chat, we can discuss, when u have some time. My user id is the same for both.

Sanju

[quote=Chintu123]Hyderabad[/quote]

Hi Chintu, I am sorry, my google talk isnt opening for some reason, can u send a test mail to sweetsanjay25@yahoo.co.in mentioniong your google talk id and I shall send you an invite fm my end. Sorry for the trouble,

Sanju


[quote=Chintu123]i have a gmail and sent an invitation to you[/quote]

ya,I understand, got your mail and have replied to it. Bye Speak to you later.

Sanjay

[quote=Chintu123]i do not want mention my mail id here so sent an invite[/quote]

If He Was A Good Fellow He Wud Nt Have Done It......file A Case Againast Him

There Is Nothing Like U Cant Live With Out Him I Hope

Don Tink

Hi Neel,

There are only two options.

1) Reconcile, Resolve and Stay Put in the relationship.
2) Divorce him and move on in life.

The seocnd one is easier said and done, but you would need to think carefully as to what you want to do. Ask questions to yourself. What does your heart say ? would you be able to cope with the break up emotionally and financially ? including that of your parents ?

Once divorced, what next ? becos marrying again would be a compromise in some way or the other. Staying single throughout the rest of the life is not that easy as we grow older, because we need companionship even if physical relationship isnt there.

Hence I would suggest, that before you think of choosing option No2, explore all the possibilities of getting back on track with your husband. Dont think I am advising you like what your parents had said. I am telling you from a practical pont of view.

You have been married only for 4 months. Not sure what went wrong during this period. What was the findings from the detectives. How long has this affair been going on ? Whats the background of that lady ? is she a single woman or a married lady, having an extra marital affair with your husband? how frequent they meet and where ? Whats her financial position ? is she beautiful ?

Answers to the above would help in narrowing down the reasons as to why your husband of 4 months drifted towards Secondary pleasure. did her beauty attracted him, or did the lady got attached to your husband for monetary reasons ? or was it just affair by chance.

Shall await answers for the above before I write further.  At the moment I ask you to remain positive, dont get depressed and always say to yourself that things would be allright. That would keep you going and fight for your rights and pave way for a good future.

Best Wishes, shall be in touch again

Sanjay


> neel11 wrote:

> hi
my husband has extra marital affair i confirmed it through detectives when i discuss this matter with my in laws my husband denied and in return he kept elegation that i have some affair n i want to breakout frm this relation so am acting as am doubting my husband .its just 4 months we married n i hardly stayed only for a month with him.  i  consulted advocate he n my parents tells me to just hide his affair dont ask him about it just try to leave with him coz they dont want me to break this relation for my parents i agreed to stay with him but now when i wanna go back to my in laws house they kept elegation that we doubt on ur health they think i have some serious prob but i suffer from appendisities  n u should go through a test ..this is ridiculous    i dont know wht to do  .. my husb has no interest in me ,still i forgived him n made my mind to stay with him even though he want me to go through elegations  like medical chekup etc this irritated me ....i dont know wht to do ............................  am in confusion is itgud to give one chance to my husb n accept everything wht he want me to do or  kick this relation n move frwd...........plz suggest me