Dear Sonu,

Though you are in a mess, you can still get out of it.  Fortunately you are still single. It is a cowardly act on part of your boyfriend to have left you and married someone else and I cannot accept his reasoning ( due to family pressures) Ok if it is the case so be it. He has married another girl only when he was in his senses. He has got no right to spoil her life. I feel you have also got a major part to play in it by keeping in contact with him on SMS etc.

If you want to move on in life, forget your Ex totally and dont regret. Please dont give a damn to your boy friend's coc and bull stories about dying etc. Tell him that just like he got married due to family pressures, you are under pressure from your family to get married and hence you want to stop this permanently in the best interests of both. Tell him, if he truly loves you, he should step apart and leave you to live a life of your own and he should try to find happiness in his marital life. He is not fair to his wife either. If he wanted you so badly that he would die without you, then he should have had the balls to face the family and reject the marriage proposals. Now it is too late and no suse crying over spoilt milk.

Please change your mobile number with immediate effect. Stop all truck with him and see if you can think of your best friend's proposal. You have a life to lead and dont be silly and spoil your future for a man who had no backbones.

You would be doing the greates good deed in leaving your Boyfriend alone, please be aware, that unless you leave him, he would not search for his love within his marriage. It may be difficult for him to digest the fact that you have left him, but time is the best healer.

Just get going without any second thoughts and I would appreciate if you come back and tell us that you have taken the right decision in the interests of all the three. ( You, Ur Ex and his wife)  Dont be the cause for spoiling a happy family.

I wish you all the best for a lovely life in a different direction far away from your Ex.

Sanjay


> sonu4555 wrote:

> My life has become a mess n i dont knw what to do????
Actually i have a boyfriend and i love him from past six years..but last year he got married due to presure from his family.He also loves me alot but now our love life has all got messed up.His wife know about me and always keeps him questioning about me...we hav not met since last year but we are in contact by messages n all.We talk to each other daily.If i ask him to leave me he says that he will die without me.I knw he really loves me but now there is no solution for this...i hav asked him several times to breakup but he starts dying by these thoughts of mine many times he has also cried infront of me....last month a friend of mine has proposed me but i refused due to all this and i lost my really gud friend ... i m struck at one point and cant move forward in life....when i think that i hav lost my first love i feel very sad....
i want to come out of this mess please if anyone can help me....

Yes Sonu , you are committing sin every moment , because you know he is married and having his wfe with him , being a sensible woman , you should not and will not be attached with him in love relation , it was ok if it was just friendship . but he keeps you as his Lover or GF, it is a sin from his side and from your side too. If you want to save yourself from destruction then leave or forget him , for his good and your good too.

Another thing you remember , he has given the respect the legal identity to his wife , that you deserved, he cared about his society not your people or you, You exist in the dark portion of his life.
If he is a coward then when you will start depending on him emotionally then he woun't be able to support you as he din;t before .
he is anxious about himself only , not you , because may be he feels boring with his wife and not emotionally attached with her , so for his own mental peace he contacts you , but if he really loved you the he would be anxious for you to get married and be happy in your life.

Or he may be is playing with you, and he is keeping an extra marital relationship and finding adventoures, when you will be emotionally dependant on him you will see his 180 degree about turn.

Don't exist in his dark life , you deserve respectable relationship and don't get cursed by his wife everyday . And don't ruin your life. YOu are in an insecured condition , you can get out of this by your self. 

May be he is dying for you , but it is duty to to stay alive , because when  he has settled his life with his wife he was not dying at that moment , he does not die when he sleeps eats with his wife . So why he will die? AND IF HE REALLY DIES HIS WIFE WILL SAVE HIM . 

And you should not keep contact with this strange guy who steps  on two boats at a time. Make your personality strong.

> sonu4555 wrote:

>>actually my b.f waz 8 years older than me
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Mind Blowing... My Mind really blowed away....


>>his wife is so dumb n careless that she never cares for him even a bit and always torchures him now we dont live in same state also...he is very far away but still his wife always never trusts him.....
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Can I ask how do u know that his wife is "Dumb & Careless"...
Might be he has said that or if u have interpreted then how did u came to such a conclusion.


>>i knw i hav to leave him anyway....but i cant avoid his calls n take him forgranted we hav such a understanding with each other that no one of us can hurt the others feelings....but i m trying to move away coz i dont want to hurt his wife n him too.... n i knw i m wrong now....
>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Yes u are absolutely wrong bcoz u are not giving him the way to see his wife at all...
You talk to him everyday and thus he thinks that thr is a chance that u can come to him so he is not giving his wife a chance... If u get out of his way he can live his life... So don't be so bechari and lachaar coz u are giving him trouble and u know that...


>>i knw i will leave him n he will not say anything to me ....but slowly he will die of this coz i knw him he is such a emotional person....by this i feel more worried.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Frankly speaking u are the most dumbest one I have ever seen... No one dies like that... He has a family and for them he married someone else not u. So just try to open the closed gates of ur mind and remember that if u leave him then he will get to know how to live life... Right now he is dying bcoz of u...

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My Suggestion>>>> Just leave him coz he is having a family and a 'WIFE' that are more important then this love affair and YOU. But he cannot see anything coz u are standing in the middle of his way to his life.
If u want to be happy and want to see him happy too then just move on and try to concentrate on ur life and behavior not his wife's behavior and whereabouts...
You are not a kid.. Keep urself in place of his wife and try to feel the pain of having a husband only for the namesake who loves someone else... Everything will get clear in front of u..

Ruhena,

Yaar actually the whole world is not like we think it is...

You just think he is 8 ys elder then her.. Tell me even if she would have agreed to marry him would her parents too have gave the permission... No bcoz no one wants to ruin his/her child's life...

And she told by herself that she was a child when he proposed her to marry him...
Just tell me how many love affairs are genuine when the person is a child..

So frankly tht was not at all a First love or anything... That was just care from his side and attaraction from her side which they misunderstood as Love...