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Hello Sir
My name is Mehul i used to live in canada i moved back to india after 12 years and finally got married to my high school sweetheart. our's is a love/arranged marriage. her family specially her mama's and chacha's were against this marriage but finally they were convinced. the girl was firm all the way long and they had to give up. after marriage things changed drastically my wife was not the way she used to be and wouldn't act like the way she used to. we were out of town a month and a half ago in Mumbai to get her visa where we got into a fight and she left me from there for her mama's place without informing me with my passport and all important, but that is the least of my concern. now they all threaten me to divorce her or else i will face dire circumstances ...they are a very wealthy family and politically influenced compared to mine. i know that i can bring my wife back just given the chance to talk to her, and i even know that she is taking a harsh decision under presure ....my life is a complete mess ....i can threating calls from all sorts of people....i am not allowed to talk to her .....if i go to police they have connections there .....she cannot retaliate back as i said they were against all this from day one and now they have the opportunity to get us separated .....i really need some help and advice as to what can i do and how to get out of this mess and bring my wife back....
thank you for your time and consideration
Mehul
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Hi Mehul
I fail to understand the changed behaviour of your wife in current scenario. Fights are normal b/w husband n wife but any such small fight can never lead to situation of divorce. Either there is sumthng which u hv not mentioned or sumthing is wrong at her end.
As u said that she was firm and took her stand strongly before marriage and nobody was able to change her mind, then wht happnd now!! within such a short time period, how can things change.
If u r not able to find an opportunity to talk to her, let her find it as u r not the only one who want to live in this relation.... she is also a part of this relation. Let her take first step, dont feel restless. I understand, she cud be in anger becoz of ur last fight, let her anger come down, she herself will cum back to u if she truly luves u...... but u need to keep patience till then. Keep on searching for an opportunity to talk or meet her and dont feel panic...... as far as threatning calls r concerned, make them understand that both of u r in husband-wife relationship now and such things doesnt match their status. They should have done this before your marriage took place. Now there is no place for such things and they will end up in spoiling their daughter's life as well.

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Adding to what Magic said, try to approach your wife through one of your common friends or may be her best friend and then see if you can get an opportunity to speak to her atleast over phone.
Sanjay
> tmehul972 wrote:
> Hello Sir
My name is Mehul i used to live in canada i moved back to india after 12 years and finally got married to my high school sweetheart. our's is a love/arranged marriage. her family specially her mama's and chacha's were against this marriage but finally they were convinced. the girl was firm all the way long and they had to give up. after marriage things changed drastically my wife was not the way she used to be and wouldn't act like the way she used to. we were out of town a month and a half ago in Mumbai to get her visa where we got into a fight and she left me from there for her mama's place without informing me with my passport and all important, but that is the least of my concern. now they all threaten me to divorce her or else i will face dire circumstances ...they are a very wealthy family and politically influenced compared to mine. i know that i can bring my wife back just given the chance to talk to her, and i even know that she is taking a harsh decision under presure ....my life is a complete mess ....i can threating calls from all sorts of people....i am not allowed to talk to her .....if i go to police they have connections there .....she cannot retaliate back as i said they were against all this from day one and now they have the opportunity to get us separated .....i really need some help and advice as to what can i do and how to get out of this mess and bring my wife back....
thank you for your time and consideration
Mehul
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I would Like to add one more important aspect..
You said that her chachas and mamas were against the marriage but what about her parents...
When the parents were ready then why they didn't told them that they want thr daughter's happiness and the rest all was thr decision so who are chachas and mamas to go against when parents are ready...
And if they were against then tell the whole story to us...
You said this was a Love cum arranged marriage... Then how come anyone is against when it was arranged and if they wanted to do anything then as magic said they would have already done earlier b4 marriage...
I agree with magic that thr is something wrong which u are hiding or something else with ur wife's side...
And that is also true that small fights occur between all the couples and this is not so much big issue so that u can blame ur wife that she changed her behavior.. And In ur post too we could not find anything which proved that it was her changed behavior.
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My in laws ruining my marriage,
well her father has passed away and she lives in a joint family with her chacha's she is the oldest of all the siblings her mama's supported my wifes family throughout and like i said the reason the arranged the marriage is becoz she was firm no matter what but since she left she has been completely over powered not allowed to leave the house no phone calls as a matter of fact she might not even be in the town she might be forced to live in ahmedabad where all her mama's reside i just got married on july 2 2009 we were only together for 4 months and all our plans were to go abroad since i have been living in canada for past 12 years, it was a stupid fight.
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Why inlaws are ruining your marriage , it's also her marriage? And what kind of fight you had ? Didn't you ever have fight after marriage ? How do you understand that her in laws are ruining the marriage ?
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Mehul - i blv same kindda pressure she will be facing at the time when she was struggling for marriage. So, what a big deal. She must be habitual of it by now and she should be knowing ways and means to deal with it. Cant say this about you.
The matter of fact is that if she herself is no more intersted in this relation, then u really cannot do anything otherwise nothing can go wrong.

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Magic...
You are absolutely correct...
When she is dealing with that sort of things from her child hood then she must knw all the loop holes and ways to get out of the house or from thr eyes...
Thr is something that mehul is hiding and as he said that it was a small fight may be possible like other guys he is thinking the thing was small but may be that was something much more for her...
Uptil the time he is not telling us the details we can't tell him what went wrong...
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Yes Sweta , it is quite complicated .
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