|
You are not logged in.
|
|
Register
at SukhDukh.com and join the most happening discussion
forum. Share your joys and sorrows, express your views and opinions, ask
your queries, raise your doubts and be a part of the extended e-family. |
Dear Sir/ Madam
I am in a very disturbed state of mind due to sudden and drastic changes in my life. I am an HIV+ married lady. I was married in Nov 2004 and had a great married life since then. I had a love marriage and never had any illicit relationship and no sexual relation with anybody except my husband. All details are as under:
I was happily living my life. After about 2 years of my marriage we came to know that my husband is infertile and i cannot conceive. It came as a shock to us as my husband was the only son of the family with 2 sisters. Even i accepted it as a matter of fact that no problem we will adopt a child or will go for test tube baby. Then again everything was normal. I was planning to visit aurstralia for a business trip and for that i had to have a medical check up and there it was revealed that i am an HIV positive (my husband was negative). As i was true and loyal to my husband i called up my husband on phone and told him that i am an HIV patient and i am totally broken. He was very supportive and helped me in every possible manner to support me as even he was sure that it is some mishappening as he trusted my character. It was in July 2008. Now its almost 1.5 years and suddenly i noted that my husband started avoiding me and he left house on 9th of january 2009 and called me up and said i cannot live with u. Go wherever you want. It was something that totally broken me, my family, my world. I came to know he is having some affair with some lady (a girl with whom he had relations in his college life and she is planning to leave her husband). I was even okay with that as afterall it is his need. But i love him alot and cannot live without him. I accepted him with all his weeknesses and supported him in every phase of life as he did. But now it seems to be allover. He told everything to his sister and they are behaving in the most inhuman way and asking me to leave their brother by imposing some false case on him. I was even adjusting to the extreme that he can do whatever he want i will not interfere but just show me his face once a day. He simply says in the most inhuman manner that i dont want to see you. He is telling this to everbody friends and relatives and also raising rumours that i was very rude and had regular fights with him.Nobody is allowing me to even talk to him and neither he is ready to talk to me even for 10 min. Please help me. When i ask him something he says you cannot do anything as you are an HIV positive and i have all legal support and i will send you papers for separation. Now i am clueless where to go, whom to approach. I m well educated and working. But now totally broken and not even going to my job now. I just cannot live without him.
Please please reply and help me with your valuable guidance.
Offline
Hi,
Terrible suituation. but dont beg for anything if u r not guilty. It seem ur husband has decided to leave u and any cost and seems difficult that u will gain her back in ur life. I suggest to move on with life as ur husband has done.
Offline
But thats not at all possible for me. I dont know what happened to him suddenly. He was very normal on 6th of Jan and we had a gr8 evening. I loved him and i just cannot go legal for him. I cannot see him in trouble.
Offline
Moreover i am sure this infection i have caught before test otherwise it was in no way possible that he doesnt get infected. Just before this test i had gone through a Fallopian tube test that has everything to do with ur private parts and this infection may have come from there as i have consulted various doctors. But now where m i wrong??
Offline
Charanjeet so what dose ur heart say.....
Offline
Just one thing....I cannot Live without my husband. I will never give him Divorce, though i can allow him to live his own life. What if he goes legal and ask for divorce?
Offline
an charanjeet what do u get by doing that
Offline
and charanjeet what do u get by doing that uska sath to phir bhi nahi milana aapko, u r fooling urself
Offline
Vikas u r not getting me. We were living together and happy since last 1.5 year when he knew i was infected. So is this the base to get divorce. It is just because of his temper and some other girl. Do you think it is right?
Offline
Dear,
I completely understand ur love for him. But the way u r ready to compromise ur self respect is not right. And secondly if he stay back with u and be in relation with someone else will that be right............ Do u not deserve s better treatment than this.
Offline
Charanjeet,
Whatever U say or want that is ur concern not ur husband's...
Right now he know that he has got his college GF back & so he wants to live with her anyhow... Those 1.5 yrs matters for u but not him...
So I would only say that fight the legal battle and give him divorce so that atleast one of u is happy then both of u in pain....
U are not getting a simple thing that this guy does not love u and whatever u do he will not come to u anyhow... So let him live his own life and U move forward with urs without making it impossible for both of u...
If u want to prove that he does not love U or betrayed ur Love & trust over him bcoz of some Goddamn old GF then prove it in Court... He will surely feel Insulted and Naked in front of everyone... But that too will not give U back his love at all...
Offline
I understand what you want to say and how i am compromising my self respect. But my love for him is so much that i am not able to see my ego/respect in from of him, no matter how much he avoids me. My love for him is true and i just want him to be in front of my eyes. I hope he can feel that....
Offline
Dear Charan,
As said eariler by me he has moved on and i and sweta both feel that u need to take this bold step also. Painfull but true
Offline
Ye i agree with you Sweta but his GF is also married and she is planning to leave her husband. Did i left him when he was declared infertile and could not produce a child. I was with him in every phase. Now i need him .Yes i am getting emotional but cant help it. What i want is whether he can take divorce from me on this ground as its 1st stage of disease and what is this divorce all about. I am totally blank
Offline
Charanjeet,
First of all I would say that U are behaving over possesive which is not at all good for U...
Then about ur divorce, U are mis interpreting everything coz He is not giving u divorce bcoz U are in some disease but bcoz He don't love U and want his life with that Girl...
Make this clear in ur mind that u r HIV+ but that has nothing to do with the divorce but Its only an excuse by him to give u that he is divorcing u on this basis...
Then again one more thing u have to clear in ur mind that "U can love someone but cannot force them to love U at all..."
This is all his personal wish that he wants to love u or not.. or wants to live with u or not....
So don't behave as if U are a stubborn child who wants a candy & will not stop crying until U don't get that...
Offline
charanjeet - i agree with sweta and vikas, whatever you done with your husband is love and humanity,
at that time, (even at present) you can take divorce on the basis of infertility.
but now things have taken another shape,
in this situation, if he is behaving like this, then leave him,
agar vo kuch time ke bad aapke pas aate hain tab aap sochna ki kya karna ha,
aap pyar me jabardasti nahin kar sakte
Offline
Ye i know pyaar mein agar zabardasti hoti to main jaane hi nahi deti.....i know he is very angry and when i called him today he said i will never ever get married which i know just to make me fool. I am not even disturbing him now. Let him take his own time to decide as his parents want me to stay with them and leave their son...what is this now??? do they want a slave to work and earn for them?
Offline
Charanjeet,
You never told that how his parents i.e. ur In-laws behaved with u....
And as for now if they want u to live with them and leave thr son, they only want u to be happy...
Being so much suspicious for everything will not do any good to u...
And good that u leave everything upto him coz it is he who is going to decide what he wants with his life & u cannot force him into anything....
Offline
charanjeet- it's good that his parents wants to live with you,
think positive, may be they also think their son is doing wrong,
we can only say this that be positive and think for the good,
Offline
I dont think i am in a state to understand right or wrong? As far as i know they never had any control on their son. Now i came to know that he is boozing and smoking n doing all wrong things. He wants independence and told the same to his parents that he wants to live his own life. I am unable to make anything out of this...he actually pleaded in front of my parents to marry me...visited 100 of times to convince them and that too for this day..I know you all can not feel something i am going thru but thank you for all ur time and efforts for me. I am in the worst mental state as i can not imagine life without him and the only option i have is suicide...i donno till what time i can manage to hold myself but i cant see any other option.
Offline
Recent Posts in Sukh-Dukh Chaupal |
Most Popular Posts at Sukh Dukh |
|
Sukh-Dukh Chaupal
| Miscellaneous |
Gadgets | Cars
& Bikes | Food & Drinks | Beauty
& Fashion | Health
& Fitness | Weddings | Love
& Relationship
| Home Decoration
| Just Women | Hotels
in India | India
Travel | Travelling
Abroad | Baby Care | Toddlers
& Kids | Parenting
Teenager | Mom
& Dad | Jobs
& Career | Education
in India | Higher
Education | Study
Abroad | NRI's
World | Homeland | Hollywood | Bollywood | Books
| Music
| Sports
| Jokes
& Humour
| Bangalore Forum
| Chennai Forum
| Delhi Forum
| Hyderabad Forum
| Kolkata Forum
| Mumbai Forum |
|
©2006-08
SukhDukh.com. All rights
reserved. |
