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Thread: Should Older Women Marry Younger Men?

  1. #1

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    In Indian society, it's rarely accepted that a women can marry younger men?
    What do you think if a woman marry a man who is younger then her, is there anything wrong in it?



  2. #2

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    If you love the person, age does not matter. what matters is love and understanding

  3. #3
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    HI SF,

    There is nothing wrong in it. You can see lot of people marrying women older to them. Take for eg Cricketers Sachin Tendulkar, Venkatesh Prasad, etc. They lead a happy life. However, you would need to be cautious about the age difference. it should not be much, max 3 years difference. Otherwise as you guys age, the lady would look much older and it could cause embarassment in future. and also the child bearing ability decreases in older women.

    Sanjay


    S.F. wrote:

    > In Indian society, it's rarely accepted that a women can marry younger men?
    What do you think if a woman marry a man who is younger then her, is there anything wrong in it?

  4. #4
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    By nature, a marriage is balanced when husband is elder to his wife.

    First Reason:

    A commercial company has a structure like Chairman, Managing Director, H.R, Sales manager, employees etc. Every country has a hierarchal structure as President, Prime minister, Governor, Chief Minister, MLA , employees etc. Like wise, Every family should have a unique planned structure. By the law of nature, since men are good bread earners and protectors of the families, usually husband becomes the head of the family. If he is elder, usually younger members like wife and children in the family values his words. If he is not elder, his words are not valued by wife. In case a husband dies, wife becomes the head of the family.

    Second Reason:

    The mind of a woman mature prior and faster to that of man. The maturity of a brain increases soon after the puberty. For example, the mind of an 18 year old girl works efficiently equal to that of a 20 year old man. That is why in school days, girls score good marks than boys. Sexually a boy attains his puberty between 20 to 25 years of age, while a girl attains her puberty in between 14 to 16 years of age.

    If a woman is married to a man of same age or younger, it results in many complications like (i) difficulty in communication (ii) misuse of position by women (iii) incapability of husband in taking decisions for leading the family (iv) domination of the wife over her husband (v) probability of certain genetic deformities in the new born.

    Hence the ancient thinkers had found that a marriage is balanced only when the husband is elder to his wife. The differences of ages between husband and wife can range between 4 - 15 years. Medically the ideal age for marriage is between 25 and 30 for men and 16 to 22 years for women. The families in which a wife is elder to her husband are quite unsafe. In such families, husbands mostly become henpecked and useless. We cannot take such familes as examples. It is against nature's law. Hence by law of nature, Husband should be elder to his wife.

    Besides above, I really appreciate the ending point of Mr. Sweetsanjay's !

  5. #5
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    SF > There is nothing wrong in it, but age gap bahut jyada nahi hona chahiye.....

  6. #6
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    Basically there are 3 reasons why husband is elder to his wife for marriage.

    (1) Medically Girls are matured mentally and physically between the ages of 14 and
    16, where as boys mature physically and mentally between the ages of 20 and 25. So
    a girl of 16-18 years possesses maturity equivalent to that of a boy of 20-25 years.
    This is the reason why in school age girls score more marks than boys. So maturity
    levels are balanced when husband is elder to his wife.

    (2) The potency in women drops after the age of 60 onwards, where as the potency
    in men drops at the age of 70 onwards. To prevent Men going to other women, after
    wife losing her potency, it was decided by the ancients that Husband should be elder
    to his wife.

    (3) If husband is elder in a family, all members including wife and children abide to
    him, so that proper hierarchy (organizational structure) in a family is preserved.

  7. #7

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    if there is love and understanding then age is no bar at all!! while there will always be these lost souls that will say it is against the family system and what not, at the end of the day they were and are mere guidelines...they are lost souls because they are not able to differentiate between guidelines and rules.

    love, understanding and inter-personal chemistry are very hard to find. so when one comes across someone who is compatible, nothing else matters!!

  8. #8
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    Does it matter what the age is........as long as u love each other.........so all you guys and gals go ahead and dont bother abt the age.

  9. #9

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    hello,

    I am elder than my girlfrnd, we both understand each other very well and love each other too much and cant live without each other.

    There is 16 year age gap between us, but still both are very mature and understand and love each other very much.

    i read some posts saying age gap/bar doesnt matter if both love and understand eachother.

    Even she is not bothered about the age gap.

    Since we both are india, kindly advise can we go ahead and can we marry each other in future. Please HELP!!!!

    Thanks

  10. #10

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  11. #11
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    @ Rameshraju = I've given my scientifically approved web-sources of why you are so wrong. I strongly felt that you need to be corrected.


    Why you are wrong about age differences!=
    --------------------------------------------

    ACTUALLY:
    a) Research shows that on average a woman is more likely to produce more kids with a partner of the same age as her than a partner 5 years older than her.
    b) Male fertility declines after the age of 30! this is where the sperm count declines rapidly.
    c) Men 35 or older are more likely to have more miscarriages than younger men (regardless of women's age!)
    d) Men above the age of 50 are 4 times more likely to have disabled babies with down syndrome.
    e) Men live SHORTER than women, they die early. So its makes more sense for older women to marry younger men so that they can live together for longer!- check out your nearest retirement home if you don't believe me, there will always be more females than males.
    f) Fat men have declined fertility. Adipose tissue (fat tissue) release oestrogen (which is actually a female hormone)- this decreases male fertility a lot.
    g) From age of 25, male's sperm motility decreases
    h) Female AND Male fertility BOTH decline TOGETHER at age of 40, this is when BOTH of their fertility declines rapidly.


    1) "They also found out that sperm motility, was best before age 25 and lowest after age 35."
    [url]http://www.articlealley.com/article_907924_27.html[/url]

    2) "According to The Guardian Newspaper: They found that women whose partners were 35 or older had more miscarriages than those who were with younger men, regardless of their own age. The men's ages also affected pregnancy rates, which were lower in the over-40s."
    [url]http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2008/jul/07/health.children[/url]

    3) Previous research has pointed to an increase in birth defects in babies born to older men. "A 2005 study of 70,000 couples by epidemiologist Jorn Olsen at the University of California, Los Angeles, found a fourfold rise in Down's syndrome among babies born to men aged 50 and older. They were also more likely to have limb deformities."

    [url]http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2008/jul/07/health.children[/url]


    4) Women live longer than men. So to live longer with each other after marriage,young men should marry older women. "Among people over 100 years old, 85% are women, according to Tom Perls, founder of the New England Centenarian Study at Boston University and creator of the website LivingTo100.com."

    [url]http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1827162,00.html[/url]

    5) "There is no evidence that anything other than wide age differences increase the likelihood of splitting up – more than 10 years, and the younger partner is more likely to be unhappy than in more standard relationships. Typically, relationships with wider age gaps are more prevalent among poorer, less well-educated couples, and in certain ethnic communities. Couples who differ widely in age are also more likely to cohabit than marry."

    "In the real world, however, age differences are more conservative – the latest National Statistics show that in marriages the mean gap is only 2.2 years, with the most common gap a meagre one year."

    [url]http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/sep/12/age-difference-dr-luisa-dillner[/url]




    -----------------------------------------
    @rameshraju= you know more about women than men? Maybe you should do a bit more scientific research into your own gender before commenting on women? Out of interest, do you have any daughters? have you studied a full 6 year medical degree? are you even female? - I mean you're given out advice in a subject in which you yourself are not an expert in.

    The knowledge and views you have is outdated and incredibly old-fashioned! You should update your knowledge with the latest medical research if you have to comment on.

    -The danger of marrying a younger woman is that she will inevitably be attracted to younger,better-looking men and will be flirting and going after them instead! and there's a greater chance of HER having an affair!!!
    -(what on earth makes men think that sane young women are attracted to much older, wrinkled infertile men? lol - I think this is some type of a fantasy problem that men have- too many ollywood movies (produced by men, d'uh) if you ask me!)
    -also I think that no one should marry before the absolute minimum age of 25, especially women. Yes, females tends to have a higher IQ (intelligence quotient) than males of that age BUT that does not mean that they have the same EXPERIENCE.

    Furthermore, you say females tend to be academically more intelligent?, but intelligence itself has many dimensions.

    A 24 year old female STILL has LESS experience than a 26 year old male, no matter what.

    Intelligence and experience are two very different things!- time has an important role to play, even a two years gap is big. I don't think you understand this point Rameshraju.





    <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
    Did you know FACT: Lord Krishna was more than13 years younger than Goddess Radha! And he's a GOD!

    @your re: Rameshraju signature- TO respect India first learn to respect women: they are your daughters, sisters, mothers, wives, grandmothers, grandaughters... the more respect you give them, the better India will be! they will take us to the top.

    Religious opinion: Why are the poor parts of India so poor? Because they don't respect women so much. Where there's no respect for ladies, Goddess Laxmi runs away from that household because she herself is a lady! Hence that household becomes poor. The more respect we give to ladies, India will get richer!!!

    Why do you think More Economically Developed Countries such as the UK, European countries and US are so rich?, because they give their daughters as much rights as they give their sons.!
    There are good and bad aspects in both cultures, but we should adopt the good aspects of the western society if we are to succeed!- this is where they are setting a good example for us to follow.
    <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

  12. #12
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    No need to be amazed by news when parents kill their own daughters. Its because she married a younger man. Its preconditioned set notion among majority of Indian that women should always be much younger than husband. Girls’ parents sees this as somekinda giving a precious gift to groom. They all think it is their duty fulfilled when any man much older marries their daughter. Otherwise, they will even kill their daughter. What trivial logic is that? They never said there is anything wrong happened when Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar married Anjali. You know how much older Anjali is to Sachin. She is 6-years older than Little master. You know how much older Aishwarya Rai is than her hubby, Abhishek Bachchan. She is 2-years older than Abhi.
    • One says, "a woman 12-14 years older than man will end up as balanced"
    • Young men like older women who they think women will be more mature
    • It was in old days when wife earned less than husbands
    • Females now earn more than their husbands

  13. #13
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    Rameshraju- I appreciate your answer as it is logical but what to do love is not logical. If you fall in love with a woman elder and if she feels the same for you then there is nothing bad in marrying her. If you have better understanding then the age difference doesn’t come into picture.

  14. #14
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    There is no hamper in marrying someone younger if a female is much aged. Age comes to all but what makes a relationship work is contribution and commitment towards the bond. If all these factors are found then what can stop such a couple from leaving a happier conjugal life like the other. One is worried whether aged lady will conceive or not but then that is nothing impossible. Advance science has facilitated in giving a chance to an elderly woman to conceive and give a healthy baby. Now the Indian society has open up to such wedding though earlier people constrained.

  15. #15
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    Mr Rameshraju i really dont what to say to u

    [QUOTE=rameshraju;58392]By nature, a marriage is balanced when husband is elder to his wife.

    First Reason:

    A commercial company has a structure like Chairman, Managing Director, H.R, Sales manager, employees etc. Every country has a hierarchal structure as President, Prime minister, Governor, Chief Minister, MLA , employees etc. Like wise, Every family should have a unique planned structure. By the law of nature, since men are good bread earners and protectors of the families, usually husband becomes the head of the family. If he is elder, usually younger members like wife and children in the family values his words. If he is not elder, his words are not valued by wife. In case a husband dies, wife becomes the head of the family.

    Second Reason:

    The mind of a woman mature prior and faster to that of man. The maturity of a brain increases soon after the puberty. For example, the mind of an 18 year old girl works efficiently equal to that of a 20 year old man. That is why in school days, girls score good marks than boys. Sexually a boy attains his puberty between 20 to 25 years of age, while a girl attains her puberty in between 14 to 16 years of age.

    If a woman is married to a man of same age or younger, it results in many complications like (i) difficulty in communication (ii) misuse of position by women (iii) incapability of husband in taking decisions for leading the family (iv) ancient thinkersof the wife over her husband (v) probability of certain genetic deformities in the new born.

    Hence the ancient thinkers had found that a marriage is balanced only when the husband is elder to his wife. The differences of ages between husband and wife can range between 4 - 15 years. Medically the ideal age for marriage is between 25 and 30 for men and 16 to 22 years for women. The families in which a wife is elder to her husband are quite unsafe. In such families, husbands mostly become henpecked and useless. We cannot take such familes as examples. It is against nature's law. Hence by law of nature, Husband should be elder to his wife.

    Besides above, I really appreciate the ending point of Mr. Sweetsanjay's ![/QUOTE]

    Mr Rameshraju i really dont what to say to u i mean ur making no sense at all and it sounds like to me that all u want to do is have a younger women so u can go for domination i mean what the hell do u mean husband's are unsafe and what the hell is this about the genetic deformities ? do u even know the meaning of that word i know of at least 20 people who have married women older to them and there have been married for the past 18 to 20 years and there are very happy and what do u mean by Nature's law and tell me one more thing if the guy is 15 years older then would that be ok? and can u give me the name of one book about the ancient thinkers hell man in those days people dint even know what there date of birth was i know lots of people who have a younger wife but her domination is more over the husband now what would u call that? its each person is diff by nature its all about the understanding u have between the 2 people and if u have that then there never will be any prob coz when ever a prob is there both of u can sit down and talk about and solve it one more thing value and respect are 2 things u have to earn and there do not cum with age its all about how u treat the other person Man get a life coz u sure as hell dont know what ur talking about infact i dont think any one here has the right to say any thing till there have not been with a older women them self i feel sorry for u man coz all u want to do control the women and not let her be her self

  16. #16
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    [QUOTE=rameshraju;138150]Basically there are 3 reasons why husband is elder to his wife for marriage.

    (1) Medically Girls are matured mentally and physically between the ages of 14 and
    16, where as boys mature physically and mentally between the ages of 20 and 25. So
    a girl of 16-18 years possesses maturity equivalent to that of a boy of 20-25 years.
    This is the reason why in school age girls score more marks than boys. So maturity
    levels are balanced when husband is elder to his wife.

    (2) The potency in women drops after the age of 60 onwards, where as the potency
    in men drops at the age of 70 onwards. To prevent Men going to other women, after
    wife losing her potency, it was decided by the ancients that Husband should be elder
    to his wife.

    (3) If husband is elder in a family, all members including wife and children abide to
    him, so that proper hierarchy (organizational structure) in a family is preserved.[/QUOTE]

    do u even know what the meaning of potency is? there are lots of women who are younger but there have a very low sex drive it depends on person to person plz do sum study on this and at least 70% of men even if married to a younger women still go out looking for sum thing on the side now what would u call that if the women is younger then why does he still go to other women u have no idea what ur talking about infact i dont even think u have done any study on this ur just going by what others have told u

  17. #17
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    hey there alertinfo

    [QUOTE=alertinfo;160017]hello,

    I am elder than my girlfrnd, we both understand each other very well and love each other too much and cant live without each other.

    There is 16 year age gap between us, but still both are very mature and understand and love each other very much.

    i read some posts saying age gap/bar doesnt matter if both love and understand eachother.

    Even she is not bothered about the age gap.

    Since we both are india, kindly advise can we go ahead and can we marry each other in future. Please HELP!!!!

    Thanks[/QUOTE]

    hey there alertinfo yea i can understand what u mean when u say ur from India and so ami but hey man who's advise are u looking for? are u getting married to her? and if so then to hell with every one else as along as ur happy nothing else matters dont go around asking others for advise on a matter like this its all up to u and yes i know what iam talking about iam a 34 year old male living in India and i was married to a older women who passed away one year ago i got married to her when i was 18 and she was 30 we never had any prob with our age

  18. #18
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    There are many individual opinions in the society about an older woman marrying a younger man. If each individual is happy, who care about the society? As long as both people involved know that there may be some critical people in the world, and they are willing to accept and fight, then do what you want. Do not let the prospective judgment of others keep two people apart.

    Proceed what your mind says and live happy forever don’t bother about the society.

  19. #19
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    If you love the person, age does not matter. what matters is love and understanding....!!!

  20. #20
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    My point of view is, if women are 1 or 2year older than man it doesn’t matter, if she is more than that, then it is not love marriage, it is just an attraction and lust.
    We should bang such marriages coz these kinds of weddings are the reason for growth of divorce rate in India.



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