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Thread: about my son

  1. #1
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    my son is 16 yrs old and he is a clg gng lad aftr 10th,but he is not at all serious about his studies and doesnt take even a copy to note down anything frm clg wid him.

    He doesnt even listen to anyone abt which we r saying rather he alwayz demand for a car or a bike so that he can freely go out nd he has no sense to talk wid his elders.



  2. #2
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    Sangeet,

    Almost all teenagers are like that so its nothing unusual..Studies taking a backseat is also quite natural so its better to take it slow or you'll end up having a rebel at your hands..

    Don't expect him to be a robot...

    We must understand what the teenagers are going through both physically and mentally and must show them love and understanding....

    We should remember that it is just a phase that the child will go through and with our love and support, we can make the transition from childhood to adulthood smooth as this is the time when most children are misled and misguided by others.

    Advice almost never works..But the problem with giving advice is that it's really just a way of maintaining control. We often cover it up by saying we know what's best in the situation, we have the experience and knowledge, but in reality what we're saying is this is what we want to happen, this is what we want you to do.

    They'll make mistakes take the wrong decisions...making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process; more learning comes from making mistakes than comes from getting it right..

    How much does it really matter if they don't get it right first time or choose the best alternative?

    Giving advice by telling kids what to do is only one way of passing on a parent's knowledge, there are other ways of achieving the same outcome and with a higher likelihood of success. And it's how you pass on that experience that makes the difference.

    Provide information instead. Directing your son to a source of information that's neutral allows him access to information without having to agree to your point of view.

    Give him time. Just because he hasn't given you an immediate answer to your question doesn't mean he's ignoring it. Give him time to go away and think about the answers.

    Adolescence is a time for learning to self-manage, to take responsibility for yourself and your actions. The main part of the process is handing over control to your son..

    I know it is a really scary thought. Somehow the transition is equally difficult for parents as well.. we would like a hold over our kids some control.... Our protectiveness again..

    Be his friend...Listen to him and show confidence in him and his abilities.. That will work better than any advice at any point of time...

  3. #3

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    Ur son is in adolescence...
    i m a studnt now of 24yrs.. I also passed through dis age. I rembr my mom complaining abt my studies to my dad..
    Aunty dis stage s d transition betn childhud nd adulthud. Dont force him 2 much 2 do anythng. U should only c whether hes doing anythng wrong.
    In case of bike nd car u should b able to brainwash him(tel him abt financial problems but by mistake dont tel dat u fear accidents)
    dont shout at him. Shouting at or threatng s like pouring petrol to fire. He ll bcome violent. Try 2 b frndly wid him so dat u come 2 knw wat he s doing in college..
    Give him freedom in certain cases( shoping on his own, allow him to roam wid his frnds but upto some limit, enquire abt his frnds frm some others, wen he comes home c if he chews chewing gum or chloromint> it means he smokes)

  4. #4

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    Dont give him too much pocket money.. If there s any girl in ur neighbourhud who studies in his college tel her to keep n eye on him. Speak or phone wid her frequently.
    Ur son shouldnt knw abt it. My mom used to do it...

  5. #5
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    Littlejack..

    Why do you always write as though you are texting.. Time saving ya but sometimes it is not coherent..

    Cheers

  6. #6

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    Ya



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