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Thread: Daytime Affair :)

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work.

    One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.

    "Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!"

    "I can't jump out the window ~ It's raining out there!"

    "If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied. He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!"

    So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.

    Being n*ked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could.

    After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.

    "Do you always run in the n*de?" one asked. "Oh yes!" he replied, gasping for air. "It feels so wonderfully free!"

    Another runner moved alongside him. "Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?"

    "Oh , yes" our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!

    Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried, " Do you always wear a condom when you run? "

    "Nope......... Just when it's raining".

  2. #2

    Join Date
    May 2010
    a man and an elephant.

    In 1988, Steve Jennings was on vacation in Australia after graduating from Southeastern University. During a hike through the Outback, he came across a young elephant standing with one leg raised in the air as if it was in pain.

    The elephant seemed distressed, so Steve approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Steve worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

    The elephant turned to face the man and, with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Steve stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Steve never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

    Twenty years later, Steve was walking through the Atlanta Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Steve and his son Nicolas were standing. The large elephant stared at Steve, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

    Remembering the encounter in 1988, Steve couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Steve summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

    The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Steve's legs and slammed his dumb ass against the railing, killing him instantly.

    Probably wasn't the same elephant.

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