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Thread: I am married and love another girl?

  1. #1
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    Question I am married and love another girl?

    I am 30 years old and I have been married for a year now. I had a love marriage with a girl who I knew for 7 years. We had a inter religion marriage where we had to convince our parents for the marriage. However just before I got married i met this another girl who I had an affair with. This had started because my wud be wife and i were living in two different countries and we would meet only once every few months. I got close to this girl as we used to talk to each other and some how that turned physical. But I still got married to my wife thinking that the other thing was an infatuation and since both the families were already involved and I wasn't sure about this other girl.

    I know I should have spoken up then and broken off with my wife before marriage. However after marriage everything was ok for a while but I started seeing the other girl again after a while. The other girl couldnt let go and so we ended up restarting our affair. When she asked me to leave my wife i refused because I couldn't do this to my wife for no fault of hers. So this girl has now accepted that fact and is now moving on. She has found some one who she thinks she can try to build a life with.

    I know this sounds childish and cliqued when I say that may be I love the other girl more than my wife. She is perfect for me.

    Now when she is ready to move on it feels like hell these days. I don't know if its just a phase now that she is moving on or do I really want this? Should I tell my wife and get a divorce or should I just shut up and live my life. My wife has been excellent to me. She has been a good wife to me. I don't know what I should do. I know i should decide for myself. One the one hand I think i will mess everything in my life if I tell my wife because everybody including my family and friends would shun me if I do this. But then I think would I be unhappy for the rest of my life If i dont say anything now.

    Please advise.



  2. #2
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    May 2012
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    Question I am married and love another girl?

    [QUOTE=rahul131982;250341]I am 30 years old and I have been married for a year now. I had a love marriage with a girl who I knew for 7 years. We had a inter religion marriage where we had to convince our parents for the marriage. However just before I got married i met this another girl who I had an affair with. This had started because my wud be wife and i were living in two different countries and we would meet only once every few months. I got close to this girl as we used to talk to each other and some how that turned physical. But I still got married to my wife thinking that the other thing was an infatuation and since both the families were already involved and I wasn't sure about this other girl.

    I know I should have spoken up then and broken off with my wife before marriage. However after marriage everything was ok for a while but I started seeing the other girl again after a while. The other girl couldnt let go and so we ended up restarting our affair. When she asked me to leave my wife i refused because I couldn't do this to my wife for no fault of hers. So this girl has now accepted that fact and is now moving on. She has found some one who she thinks she can try to build a life with.

    I know this sounds childish and cliqued when I say that may be I love the other girl more than my wife. She is perfect for me.

    Now when she is ready to move on it feels like hell these days. I don't know if its just a phase now that she is moving on or do I really want this? Should I tell my wife and get a divorce or should I just shut up and live my life. My wife has been excellent to me. She has been a good wife to me. I don't know what I should do. I know i should decide for myself. One the one hand I think i will mess everything in my life if I tell my wife because everybody including my family and friends would shun me if I do this. But then I think would I be unhappy for the rest of my life If i dont say anything now.

    Please advise.[/QUOTE]

    Hi
    You yourself asking questions and giving answers snit?
    Because we can hide the things for sometime from others but not from ourselves. You are a mature person and got married in maturate age then why you are acting like a non sensible person. Do you really know the meaning of love ? What it is ?You got married to a girl whom you know from last seven years and that is really a long time in which you must have all the clarities in your mind regarding her nature, love , concern, care, and everything ,And as you told you had done inter caste marriage for which you both really need to convince parents then for what you you are doing this?
    What would you do if your wife just talk to a male person regularly ?what will you call her a cheater?
    Be sensible and open your eyes for the same its just that you know that girl and she was involved with you and now she is ready to mingle with other person without having any concern for you and why she should as she really knows that you are a married person and you cannot spend your rest of life with that girl.
    Everything is happening in front of you so be a eye opener and understood that for which kind of girl you are ready to spoil your relations with your wife, family and friends who is going to get married with another person being closest to you and going on dates with you.
    Just stop continuing this shameful act and just think once if your wife was on your place then will you forgive her for this act?
    I understand may be earlier living in different countries you can led into infatuation but this is not love.

    So be careful and be loyal to your lovely wife who is with you for last eight years and had with you in all your ups and downs of life. Don, t waste your seven years of affair and one year of your marriage and lastly your life for that girl who will either whether you leave your wife will stay with you nor or you told her to reunite this relation .

    So good luck and be honest n loyal to yourself and your love----------which is your wife.
    take care of your married life you are in the age wherein nobody can expect this kind of foolishness from you.
    And in last its your life being a well wisher i have just advised you for the same.

  3. #3
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    May 2012
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    Rahul. . .u havent undrstood d new gal nd ur wife also coz if d new gal is loyal to u or truely loves u then she cnt have feelings for another person. .if she is going to sme other 1 leaving u that means she cnt let her life dedicated to u for whole of d lyf in d way in which u keep relatn wid her nd ur wife also. . If she loves u really phir wo aur kisi ki hona he ni chahegi. . Apni lyf tumahre naam kr degi. . .am i rite rahul?

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    Sep 2011
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    Rahul,

    What made you to cheat your wife? I don't think why you guys act as an abnormal person. If your wife was in your situation, would you accept the fact? Be truthful to her live the other girl and be happy with your wife. If you guys are far apart try to get closer and be together if that is only the reason your liking some other unknown girl. Better get back to your wife s place and live with her.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
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    Hey Rahul,

    I can understand your present situation man............

    Marriage is such a beautiful and an everlasting relationship................ once you are committed with your partner, then you should stay with her lifelong. It’s not that you see other girl, fall in love with her and stuffs; the thing which you are doing is totally bad. You had not been true to your wife nor that girl. The fault is only on you, so why do you want to punish your wife for that. You had mentioned in your post that, you and your wife are in different countries and get a chance to meet only once every few months. If this is the case will you look for another girl that is too bad. That too yours is love marriage, if you have a true love and affection on your wife then you wouldn’t have asked this question. The girl has also left you, so it is better for you to continue the marriage relationship with your wife.

    All the very best for your marital life!!!!!!!!!!!



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