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Thread: Intercaste marriage help

  1. #1
    New Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2012

    Intercaste marriage help

    Hello All,
    Just joined this group today to get some counseling.
    I am in love with this guy for the last 10months (I knw its short ) But we have known each other very well for 3 years and were best friends before falling in love. ( We both are 23 years old the guy is a lingayat and am a gujju girl)
    We both have the most perfect understanding and love for each other.
    In the start of the relationship I had told him if both are parents don't agree we would part ways (When he asked to me elope and get married).
    After having a passed ten months he went to India to speak to his parents and his dad was neutral and his one sister and mom were dead against and his 2nd sister is also against. His 2nd sister is yet to get married.( I understand that his sister has to get married first and I can wait but I want a commitment from his side as my parents are pressurizing.)
    When he went to India he tried making them understand but they are denying and also he has told them that he will not get married at all in life if its not me.
    When he was in India we fought alot and now after he is back he is feeling sorry for everything that happened and is asking me to be friends with him as he can see no future and that he tried everything he could. I am not understanding what to do as I cant stay without him and I know he cant too.

    We both dont knw what to do am very worried and I keep crying all the time and he has started smoking and drinking and we both cant be friends nor can we get married, Please help .

    Should we try again, I have fought with my parents too and am bargaining more time from them please share your views

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    I too sailing in a same boat even am helpless

    In the earlier days though love was weird & crucial, still true lovers somehow fought for their love, convince their parents and got back their love successfully, but these days’ guys are very stubborn & cunning they look only for their family issues and drop the love, they are just least bothered. Their motive is “something is better than nothing” this saying has vise-versa meaning…………..
    So what I say is, speak to him boldly and ask him to do court marriage with u and tell him later somehow will convince parents… that is the only solution known to my knowledge currently….

    In my case,
    My guy loved me for a year without seeing each other, it was a mobile love. We dnt know anything about each other, somehow we had fallen in love and we were chatting everyday over phone, one fine days I met and it was my birthday, to be fact he was really very smart than me in look wise. After seeing him I came to know that he is my far relative.
    He was still good after meeting me, he was texting normally, he had same love, but after some days he slowly started avoiding me, I dnt understand what was his problem, he used so many hurting words in the text and killed my love…. Each day he was giving me different reasons.

    Finally he told this is the fact, i.e. He has 2 elder sisters, in which one was 30years unmarried, as we know girl unmarried for 30 is really very sad segment, keeping this in mind I did so many fasting and prayers for her marriage, some days after my prayer she got good proposal and her marriage also got fixed, but due to some issue with girls friend who was once her lover, her marriage got stopped… still I had hope and did prayers… In this period of fight my guy’s parents had fallen in his leg and shed tears for not fall in love and leave us in such a situation… this incident made him more worry and telling me to forget him and marry someone else…….

    After hearing all these I took poison, but nothing worked out… I stopped calling him and texting for a month…. one fine day I called to his mob nos it was Switched off, I was keep on trying the mobile was still s/o.. Later in FB I saw his pics uploaded which was taken in Austria…. Don’t know when he went? How he is? Nothing…… He also blocked my ID in yahoo messenger………

    My parents have uploaded my profile in matrimonial sites and everyday they are killing me by showing different proposals, I feel so sorry for them, coz of this guy I have scolded them so many times…. I reject all proposal which they show…. coz still I have hope that one day or the other he will come back to me……

    Only god should help me in promoting my love….
    Last edited by celebrity_shalini; 07-02-2012 at 11:56 AM.

  3. #3
    New Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2012

    Today most of the marriages happening in India are inter caste marriages. Not all were success, but few. Love is such a sacred relationship which do not see religion, caste, color, rich, poor etc....but when coming to marriage, it is totally different. Most of the parents do not accept inter-caste marriages; they want their son or daughter to get married to the girl or boy from the same caste. This is very common. You had mentioned that both of you love each other; you guys are really understanding etc....then make an effort to talk to your parents. Because without the blessings the parents, i donít think the marriage will last for long years. Please do not give up, continue the relationship. I would like to tell you one thing, marriages are made in heaven if the will of god is you both should get married, then donít worry after all trials and tribulations your marriage will be successful. If not! Donít feel for it, but be friends.

    Hope you understood!!!

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